#of course it took me about 2-3 years to reconnect with the people I ran from

[moondrop-candypop]

(starting this with this being a potential explanation for why New Moon/Nexus has changed so drastically, not a defense of his actions)

honestly (from the view of someone who only sporadically watches tsams) I think Nexus is trying to do that thing where you put on a mask and try to forcibly cut ties with people when they hurt you but you still love them.

he feels hurt and betrayed and confused and caged in and he's gone through defensive mechanism after defense mechanism trying to protect himself from it all, (like Sun mentioned that one time to Earth, he tries to get people to go away by hurting them with words) and now he's gotten to a very dire one

he's forced everyone as far away from him as he can get, has run away to the first open hand held out to him, and now he's trying to change himself into the role he thinks fits him right now. (from his perspective) they see him as the villain and have disowned him, so fine, he'll disown them first, and if they want him to be a villain that bad he'll Be a villain.

tldr: Nexus is trying to protect himself from a perceived threat by pushing away his loved ones before they can push him away.

[alwaysfeelingsaintlike]

Driving Me Mad [G.W] - Part 1

Series Description: You and George come up with a plan to help each other out by pretending to date each other. But what happens when you actually start to catch feelings...

Pairing: George Weasley x Gryffindor fem!reader 

Word Count: 2.2k

Description: You reconnect with George during a friendly game of spin the bottle.

A/N: This concept was inspired by one of my favorite 90s teen movies, Drive Me Crazy (which everyone should watch btw). I wrote this a few years ago and recently re-worked. This is part 1 of 8! Enjoy :)

                                                         X

“1…2…3…4…” you heard Fred calling. You took off at a run to find your spot. You were playing hide and seek, like you always did at these reunions. The Burrow was the best venue for hide and seek because there were so many great hiding spots, both inside and out. Fred and George seemed to be the best at this game, but you had one secret spot where no one could ever find you. You ran down the stairs quickly, hoping you wouldn’t be heard or spotted. Your parents were in the sitting room with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, waiting for the roast to finish and you tip-toed to the one area where you shouldn’t have been, the kitchen. It was an unspoken rule that the kitchen was off limits when Mrs. Weasley was preparing dinner, but you were never one to follow rules. You heard the adults talking in the other room and knew you had a very limited window to get situated. You opened the cabinet under the sink and went to climb in when you realized there was already someone in there.

“Hey! This is my spot!” you whispered, still trying to keep your cover.

“Well too bad, I was here first,” he spat back. 

“READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!” Fred called. Your eyes went wide in panic and you shoved yourself into the cabinet.

“Slide…over…” you said as you dug your elbow into George’s side. You knocked over stacks of bowls and pans and you quickly shut the cabinet door hoping to muffle the noise.

“I can’t believe you took my spot,” you grumbled.

“Your spot? I don’t see your name on it,” he teased. You smacked him and he winced. “Now, that wasn’t very nice.”

“Shh…you’ll give our position away.” You heard footsteps coming across the tile floor and held your breath. 

You sat there for what seemed like hours, whispering insults back and forth and laughing about stupid things. The hardest part about sitting there was that dinner was starting to smell amazing. It was torturous. That was the downside to having a great hiding place; you were stuck there until you got found.

“Okay, I give up. You guys win. Just come out now,” you heard Fred calling.

“Should we?” you asked George.

“Nah. It’s more fun this way.”

By this point all of the kids were looking for you both, and maybe even the adults. It was hard to tell for sure, considering you were curled up in a cabinet, but you could hear lots of footsteps and your names being called repeatedly.

“Kids, come for dinner!” Mrs. Weasley called.

“What about now?” you asked George, thinking that the seekers would stop looking for you the minute their eyes caught sight of the meal. 

George shook his head no and you trusted he knew what he was doing. “Just wait for it…” he whispered.

As if on cue, both the cabinet doors suddenly flew open. You had been caught. You then realized, it was Mrs. Weasley who had caught you and she had yet to notice two children were in place of her kitchen supplies. She was turned and was calling for the older boys to come and set the table. 

Slowly, very slowly, she turned around and bent down to tend to the cabinet. George’s face broke into a warm smile, knowing what was coming next.

“AAAH!” she shrieked upon seeing your childish figures cramped into such a small space.  You and George erupted into laughter at her reaction as everyone else scurried in to see what had happened. Mrs. Weasley was leaning against the counter, clutching her heart before she essentially beat you with a dishtowel to get you to come out.

“George! Y/N! What on earth were you thinking? You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Weasley! We didn’t mean to. We were just playing hide and seek,” you spoke, innocently enough. Her mood completely changed and it was as if nothing was wrong.

“Well…alright. Go wash up for dinner,” she said. 

Fred approached the two of us, “That was brilliant. Couldn’t have done it better myself,” he said, giving you both high fives. 

Dinner was full of laughs and merriment as the two families conversed over a lovely meal. George sat across from you at the table and every now and then he would kick your shins and give you that evil grin of his. This was your relationship. You were essentially the second Weasley girl, and according to the twins you were more fun to torment because you could dish it back.

Dinner drew to a close, which meant you could continue playing again. The adults stayed and talked more over tea as you all made up imaginary games, pretending to be people you weren’t. Then, soon, your parents would call you and give you the twenty-minute warning, which always meant you were leaving in an hour. You would say your goodbyes like it was no big deal, but once you started heading home you grew infinitely sadder knowing you’d be playing alone until your next trip to the Burrow.

                                                              X

A lot of time had passed since the hide and seek days. Now, hide and seek was used when you were playing hard to get, which happened quite often now that you were a 5th year. You also didn’t see as much of the Weasleys as you used to. When you were younger, you would go over to the Burrow all the time. But now you only really saw them in passing at Hogwarts. You were still friendly, of course, but you had found yourself in a different friend group. 

Recently, you’d been spending a lot more time with the Ravenclaw’s largely because you were dating Roger Davies. You had started dating towards the end of your fourth year and things had been going great. You were particularly excited for the upcoming school year because they had announced the Triwizard Tournament.

The champions had just been announced and you were in  Room of Requirement, sipping a butterbeer and celebrating with a majority of the Hogwarts population.

“Here ye, here ye!” someone called out. Your attention shifted to the center of the room where the Weasley twins were making an announcement.

“As you all know, we are here for two reasons. One: to celebrate the success of our fellow Hogwartsians,” one of them spoke. The crowd cheered. Cedric’s friends clapped him on the back while Harry stood awkwardly in the corner with a handful of Gryffindors from his year. 

“And two is to have a bloody good time!” the other twin shouted. That statement was followed by even more applause. People clinked their butterbeer bottles together as the twins made a few more remarks to the group.

You mingled around the party for a bit, keeping your eye out for Roger who hadn’t seemed to arrive yet. After a few butterbeers, you stopped worrying so much about your boyfriend’s whereabouts. 

“Who wants to play spin the bottle?” you heard someone call. That certainly caught your attention. All the participants sat in a circle on the floor.

“What rules are we playing tonight?” Cho asked. 

Fred spoke next, “Spinner gets one spin. Whoever the bottle lands on can decide if they want one kiss in front of everyone or five minutes in the closet. You only get a re-spin if the bottle lands on yourself. And all wands in the middle of the circle. We don’t need any interference. Sound good?” Everyone nodded in agreement and the festivities ensued.

Since Cedric was the champion, everyone agreed to let him spin first. His bottle landed on Lavender Brown and she chose to enter the closet with Cedric. Cho looked pissed, as she had her eye on Cedric this year. The two emerged from the closet minutes later, Cedric looking sheepish and surprised and Lavender trying to hide the grin creeping up her face. 

You waited and waited for your turn, and you found yourself getting bored. You were about to leave the game and head to bed but then you heard your name.

“You’re up.” 

The bottle slid over to you and you decided you would leave after your turn was up. You held the glass bottle for a moment before placing it in the middle of the circle and giving it a good spin. The bottle was almost mesmerizing as it completed rotation after rotation before finally slowing down to land on someone. You slowly looked up to see who was at the receiving end of your spin and you internally cringed to see that familiar smile. 

“Alright Y/L/N, I will see you in the closet,” he said. Everyone ‘oohed’ like you were preteens as he stood up and made his way to the closet. You reluctantly followed, knowing this was your ticket out of here.

“Well if it isn’t my first girlfriend,” he smiled as you made your way through the door.

“You wish, George. We were six…it didn’t count.”

“That’s what you think.” You rolled your eyes at his comment.

“Just so you know, nothing is happening in here. I have a boyfriend.”

“Ah of course. Well how are things?”

“Things are going great between us. We’ve been dating almost-“

He cut you off, “I wasn’t asking about Roger. I was asking about you. We haven’t talked in a while.”

“We run in different circles, George. We aren’t kids anymore. We’re barely even friends.”

He clenched his heart, “Ouch. That hurts.”

“Well it’s true!”

“Just because we don’t hang out or talk doesn’t mean we’re not friends.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you mumbled. 

“I bet I know more about you than your so-called friends, Cho and Marietta. In fact, I think I know more about you than Roger.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, “Is that so? Prove it.”

“Well, I know that your favorite color is purple, your best subject is Charms, and you hate the cold but you love Christmas.”

“That is not that impressive. Roger knows all of that.”

George took a step closer to you, “Does he know that you secretly love watching Muggle movies, you’re ticklish on your left knee and that there’s a little star shaped mole just behind your ear.” He gently tucked your hair behind your ear and ran his finger right over the hidden mole. You looked up into his eyes and felt an unusual feeling that you weren’t sure how to define. For a moment, you thought you saw him leaning in towards you. He was going to kiss you and for some odd reason, you were going to let him. Just as your lips were about to touch he turned away as there was a series of knocks on the door. 

“I think our time is up,” you spoke softly. You slid from under his gaze and opened the closet door. “They all bolted…” you stated. The room was full of discarded cups and empty bottles, but no familiar faces to be seen.

“Filch or someone must’ve come by,” he said, “The knock was a warning.” You shrugged and without talking you made your way out of the room. “Heading back to Gryffindor tower?” he asked you. You had briefly thought about going to Ravenclaw tower to check in on Roger, but you decided against it.

The journey was silent, for the most part. Neither of you felt the need to talk. Just as you were about to turn a corner, George grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. You turned back at him confused and he said, “Not that way, we’ll get caught. Filch is usually patrolling that corridor.” You gave him an unamused look, thinking he was just trying to make things difficult when he added, “Trust me.” 

You weren’t sure why, but you did trust him. You followed him down a dark hall that you’d never been down before. You hoped he knew where he was going. It was dark and you couldn’t see very well but you didn’t want to give away your position by using Lumos. Out of nowhere, George took your hand and helped guide you down the hallway. You didn’t really understand why he was being so nice to you. You had barely talked over the years, aside from the occasional family gathering. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by a sudden pop of light. You looked up and the two of you were face to face with Professor McGonagall. 

“Professor,” he spoke.

“Mr. Weasley…Ms. Y/L/N. Is there a reason you two are out of bed past curfew?” she asked you sternly.

“Yes, but it’s not a very good one,” you said. You were toast. If it had been Flitwick or Moody you could’ve talked your way out of it, but McGonagall was too strict. You only hoped your punishment wasn’t too severe.

“Ten points will be taken from Gryffindor. Each. And you will report for detention later this week.”

“Yes ma’am,” George spoke.

“Now back to bed, both of you!” You scurried past her as you realized how close you were to the common room.

“So much for not getting caught,” you muttered.

“Hey, lay off it. I was trying to help,” he snapped. “Sometimes you can be such a bitch,” he added under his breath.  You weren’t expecting that, but you admittedly deserved it.

You reached the common room and you went in and immediately went up to your room. You curled up in bed and tried to sleep as best I could.

[jaxsteamblog]

Scars

Triggering content: discussion of violence, including gun violence, implications of self-harm Content warning: heavy smooching, nothing explicit

Click here to read the full fic on AO3

Laying in bed, Katara started to drift as Zuko casually passed his hand up and down her side. With the shade pulled down, the late afternoon sun cast an orange light in the room, turning most of the things she could see into silhouettes. 

“Katara?” Zuko asked. 

“Mmm?” Katara took in a deep breath and shifted in the space next to him. 

“I want to ask you something, but I’m worried about your reaction.” 

“I’m not dropping out of school.”

“It’s not that.”

Katara pushed herself up on one arm and squeezed her eyes shut briefly, trying to wake up.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“I wanted to know about,” His hand paused and Katara glanced down. “This.”

The line of the scar ran almost a hand length down her side. All of the scars she still had were ones she couldn’t heal herself, usually because she had been unconscious for the surgery and too weak to finish it after. 

“That’s when I was shot.” She said nonchalantly. Craning over, she used her free hand to pull on the skin a bit as she looked at it. 

“I think this one is from the last battle actually.” She added and laid back down. Looking up at Zuko, she shrugged at his horrified face.

“You were shot?” He questioned.

“Weren’t you?” Katara asked. 

“Well.” He started, but didn’t continue. She knew regardless, she had seen enough battle wounds to name all of the marks on his body.

Rolling onto her back, Katara tossed the blanket off her body. 

“Obviously, you know this is a burn. That was during a partial eclipse; a Fire Nation soldier surprised us and Sokka was barely awake enough to fight him off.” She explained, tracing the outer edge of a patch on her abdomen. 

“The one on my thigh is from getting tangled in barbed wire after we burned our first prison. It got infected pretty quick, but I was able to use my bending for that one.” She moved on quickly, lifting her left leg and turning it to show the curling scar. 

“Blazes Katara, what happened to you?” Zuko asked. 

Katara lowered her leg but looked up at the ceiling, resting her hands on her stomach. After a moment of silence, Zuko pulled the blanket back up, draping it over her. 

“Sokka and I were alone for a lot of the two years we were out there.” Katara started. “We’d run with Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors for a bit and then break off when they had to do something for the Earth Kingdom. For a few months, we stayed with this liberation group, but they ended up being borderline terrorists.”

Katara’s thoughts drifted to Jet and his group, and Zuko stayed quiet as she reminisced. 

“We weren’t trained soldiers. Jet, he ran this teen army or something, he taught us a lot. That’s probably why we stayed as long as we did.” Katara shook her head. “No, I made Sokka stay because I wanted to fight back. I was so angry. He didn’t trust Jet at all.” 

“What happened with that?” Zuko asked. His voice was soft and sympathetic. 

“We left. For a bit.” Katara said tersely. “After Sokka met Piandao and wanted to train, I was livid. He couldn’t trust Jet, called him a bad guy, but then he goes begging to work with a Fire Nation veteran?

“Of course, by then I had seen the worst of Jet but…”

“Fire Nation was always the worst.” Zuko finished for her.

Katara sighed, rolling back onto her side and putting her hand on Zuko’s hip. 

“Back then, yeah.” She said. “So I left and found Jet. I got the feeling he was hitting places close to me on purpose, so I knew where to find him. I didn’t tell Sokka. He doesn’t know everything I did.” 

“Was it bad?” Again, there was no judgement, but Katara still hesitated.

“Jet stopped being so,” She took in a breath. “Violent. He said I made him want to be a better person, a noble hero kind of thing.”

“Did you two…?” Zuko left off the end of his question. 

“Yeah. He was my first.” Katara said simply.

Zuko was quiet and Katara rubbed his side. 

“Hey.” She murmured.

“No, I know. I mean, obviously Mai and I. It’s just,” Zuko shifted uncomfortably. “If he wasn’t a great guy…”

“He and I were young. We thought the passion we felt was love, not the insane rage we held toward the Fire Nation.” Katara said and then laughed, low in her throat. “He would constantly gush about my scars as if I were a martyr.” 

“The wounds are horrific, but I am grateful for the scars. They mean you’re alive.” Zuko said.

“And that’s the difference between him and you. He would talk about being a martyr in war, but you wanted to live. I had to realize that there was nothing noble in my desire for self-destruction.” Katara explained.

“So these?” Zuko asked, holding her wrist and stilling her hand.

“Just because I knew it wasn’t noble didn’t mean I stopped seeking it.” Katara replied. 

“Did Jet survive?” Zuko asked, moving his hand to interlock their fingers. 

“He did. I don’t know where he ended up, but we reconnected once after the war. He came to my college.” She said.

“I’m assuming you didn’t pick back up where you left off.” Zuko said.

“Oh my gosh, are you jealous?” Katara asked, laughing. Zuko scowled.

“No.” He said.

“I did not hook up with Jet if that’s what you’re wondering.” Katara said and then grinned. “Because I was dating someone else I had met during the war.”

“Who?” Zuko questioned.

“You aren’t going to know him!” Katara retorted.

“I’m just curious!” 

“His name is Haru. He’s an Earthbender I met in a little mining village Sokka and I were hiding out in.” 

“So no Waterbenders?”

“Nope. But I did have a crush on Yue.”

“Oh really?” 

Katara laughed again and wriggled closer to Zuko.

“Yeah, but it was pretty obvious she liked Sokka. So I didn’t say anything.” She said. 

“You don’t say a lot of things.” Zuko pointed out.

“Plenty of people have scars from the war.” Katara said. “It’s not unusual.”

“You weren’t a soldier. You weren’t trained for that.” 

“How could they have ever trained you for yours?” She questioned, putting her hand to his scarred eye. 

“I’m Fire Nation.” He said.

“And you would cut off your own hand before you’d hurt me.” 

He held her, pulling her close, kissing her with a fever. Katara pressed herself into him, clinging to him and yielding to his attention. 

His fear drove him and Katara could feel his heart pounding in his chest even without her bending. 

“Never.” He said, breaking away to kiss her throat. “I would never.”

“I know, Zuko. I know.” She said, her voice breathy. 

“No more scars.” He said.

Katara put her hand to his chest, pushing herself back to look at him. 

“I’d heal them anyway.” 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

[mischiefandspirits]

Last Laugh (2 of 3)

“Oh, I noticed,” Red X said lowly, tossing the staff aside. “What that idiot was thinking letting Flamebird send you all the way across the country right after Batkid got blown up, I’ll never know.”

Robin flinched back at the accusation before his fists clenched at his sides. “Then you’ll be happy to know no one sent me here. It’s just where I ended up when Batman decided he didn’t want to work with me anymore and tossed me out.”

The story of how Dick ended up with the Titans in Batkid and Robin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason once told Dick that he spent months after he’d come to the manor worrying he’d be dumped back onto the streets at any minute. As a result, he’d kept go-bags hidden around, ready to go at a moment’s notice in hopes that he’d have time to grab one before he was sent away. They each had water bottles and food stolen from the kitchen, bandages from the infirmary, a backup set of clothes, a good blanket, a knife, and some cash he’d save whenever Bruce would give him any.

The others had known about them, of course, but hadn’t said anything. Jason had only known because Bruce would sneak some extra cash into them and Selina would slip in things that could be useful on the streets that he hadn’t considered while Alfred had checked them every so often to refresh the food and make sure he wasn’t filling them with junk food.

Once he’d gotten more comfortable, he’d started giving them up. By the time Bruce had disappeared, all the bags Jason had hidden had been unpacked. He never let go of his need to be prepared, though. So in place of the bags, he had four briefcases. Bulletproof, fireproof, blast-proof, and with encrypted locks, they were filled with paperwork for Jason to use in case he ever needed to go on the run. Each had everything necessary for a fake identity, including corresponding bank account information. All were created outside the family’s influence just in case the reason he needed to lie low was mind control.

Dick had never seen what was inside the first two, didn’t even know where Jason had stashed them, but he knew the third had a file for Casey Jacob Dickinson. Only because the fourth held the file for Casey’s half-brother Ryan Emil Dickinson.

The latter is the one Dick took when he snuck into Jason’s room and pried up the loose floorboard hidden under the dresser in the closet. It was their special secret, something only they shared. Something Jason had trusted Dick and only Dick with.

“Thanks, Jay,” he said, replacing the floorboard. He pushed the dresser back into place then moved to leave, but paused when he spotted the brown jacket hanging by the door.

Dick had gotten it for Jason to match his own red Batkid hoodie. He’d accidentally gotten it in a larger size than Jason usually liked to wear, but that hadn’t stopped his brother from wearing it every time the two of them hung out with just each other.

Running his thumb over the red robin patch on the shoulder, Dick stared at the jacket for a moment before pulling it off the hanger.

They wouldn’t miss it. No one had been in the room in over a month.

Case in hand and jacket slung over his shoulder, he snuck back to his room. He opened the case and pulled out the file. He slipped the ID and debit card into his wallet before putting the file into the lockbox. He carefully folded the jacket and set it into the case along with the small photo album Selina had helped him put together. It held pictures of everyone in the family, including the photo Tim had given him of himself, his parents, Damian, Jon, Duke, Tim, Steph, Jason, Babs, and Cass from that night.

It was the only picture he had of his parents, thanks to the people who ran Gotham Juvenile Detention losing almost everything he’d taken with him from the circus. He had another copy on his nightstand back at the house he, Damian, and Jon shared -- had shared -- in Somerset. The family he’d lost side by side with the family he’d gained. It made him sad every time he saw it, but it was still his favorite.

Except now they were both families he’d lost.

At least if Bruce gets his way.

Dick slammed the case closed and stuck it into the duffle bag next to the lockbox. He locked the box then piled in the clothes he’d already gathered. He tossed his wallet into the bag then zipped it up and shoved it back under the bed.

One last thing to do.

He was halfway to the closest cave entrance when he bumped into Bruce and Selina.

“Hey there, songbird,” Selina greeted.

“Hey.”

“Dinner’s almost ready,” Bruce said and reached out to ruffle his hair.

Dick stepped away before he could, then walked past them. “Not hungry.”

“He heard the news, then?”

“Hm.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“I will. I’m the one he’s mad at.”

Dick stomped into the library, ignoring his tail.

“Dick, let’s talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I know you’re upset, but -”

“Then leave me alone.”

“Please just let m-”

“I get it,” Dick snapped, spinning to face the man. “You got what you wanted. You didn’t want Damian to -” To foster him, to bring him into Bruce’s home, to try and make a place for him in the family. He’d heard enough snippets of the arguments Damian and Bruce had had when Bruce came back. He’d always thought Bruce thought Damian was the problem, that he didn’t trust Damian with Dick and planned to take Dick in himself. He’d also thought Bruce had finally accepted that Damian was keeping Dick. Had he been wrong on both counts?

Or had Dick’s actions ruined everything?

“Why couldn’t you just leave us alone?”

“Dick,” Bruce sighed. He knelt in front of Dick and set his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I just want what’s best for you.”

“Anything to get what you want,” Dick snorted and pushed the hand off so he could turn away before Bruce could see his tears.

“Dick, wait.”

A hand caught his wrist and Dick…

He was losing his family again. Jason was dead. Bruce had taken Robin. Damian was sending him back. His only hope was that the others would fight for him, but would they?

If they didn’t, he’d be alone.

Again.

And it would be his fault this time.

But it would also be because…

Dick spun around and hit Bruce right in the jaw.

Then he ran.

Tim and Jason had both long outgrown the small vent hidden above a tall bookshelf in the far corner of the library and Dick had never needed to use it, but it still swung easily on the hinges the second Batkid had installed after discovering the hidden nook.

He climbed through and let the vent swing silently shut behind him. He crawled down the shaft until he reached a similar vent. He dropped down into a thin, dusty hallway. Down the hall, around a corner, then down another hall was a small door halfway up the wall. A makeshift ladder led up to it and a hidden lever opened it, revealing Bruce’s study.

Dick dropped out of the hidden passage, letting the door swing shut behind him to meld unnoticeably with the rest of the wall. He twisted the hands of the grandfather clock on the opposite wall and disappeared down into the cave, heading for the vehicle bay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick left while the others were all patrolling and Alfred was taking a break. He used a bike that he’d removed the tracker from and kept all his devices off. He went to a hotel in the Bowery that he knew was shady enough to look the other way when a fourteen-year-old rented a room on his own, but not shady enough to take advantage of it.

He gave it a week, then two, before sneaking onto a roof in Coventry on a night he knew Oracle wouldn’t be working. He turned on the comm he’d brought and listened in. For the most part, everything was just the usual reporting in. However, things changed just before one.

“I’m moving in. Going dark,” Batman said.

“Got it, B-man,” Batgirl chirped. After a moment, in a more somber voice, she said, “So…”

Black Bat groaned and Orphan said, “No.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to ask!”

“We haven’t heard anything, and we’re not getting involved,” Black Bat said shortly.

“Not our place,” Orphan agreed.

“I know that! I was just wondering if Flamebird’s changed his mind,” Batgirl huffed.

“It’s for the best,” Orphan said after a moment.

“I get that,” Batgirl sighed. “I’m just going to miss the kid. I already miss him, and I know Oracle and Pup do too.”

“We all feel that way, but… I feel bad that he’s losing Robin, but he needs to get away from all this. After everything that’s happened… Flamebird’s right,” Black Bat said softly.

“Robin will be better off there, no matter how much we miss him,” Orphan insisted.

“Yeah, yeah. Have you guys gotten any leads on where he could -”

Dick didn’t hear the rest of Batgirl’s question as he yanked out the comm and smashed it on the ground.

He’d thought… He’d hoped…

But they agreed with Bruce. They agreed with sending him away. They weren’t going to talk Damian around.

Dick pressed his face into his knees and screamed.

He couldn’t stay in Gotham. The Bats would eventually find him, and now he knew that’d be a one-way ticket back to juvie.

He left the hotel in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin had been hesitant to stay with the others. There was no way the Bats hadn’t noticed his involvement in the invasion that had brought their team together. It was better for him to move on as soon as possible

He really hadn't wanted to, though.

They had been an amazing team and had quickly become friends. He also knew they would understand his past if he told them since Wonder Girl was an outcast among most Amazons as a result of her Brazilian heritage, Impulse was dealing with the fact her father was currently lost in the Speed Force, Virus was still trying to reconnect with his people now that he’s free from the Mawlix, and Nightstar had run away from home to get away from her absentee mother’s shadow.

That was the only reason he stayed as long as he had while they began to put together their base using the remains of Virus’s ship.

He was working up to telling the team he had to leave when he stumbled upon Impulse and Wonder Girl talking in the common area.

“It’s a shame, really,” Impulse sighed, clutching a magazine.

“Boohoo,” Wonder Girl snorted, not looking up from her book.

“I’m serious.”

“He’s one boy, and not even a worthwhile one from what I’ve seen.”

“Speedy said White Arrow and Silver Canary have met him, though, and he’s super sweet.” The speedster shoved the magazine towards her face. “Plus, just look at him!”

Wonder Girl shoved it away, rolling her eyes.

“What’s going on?” Robin asked hesitantly.

“Impulse is crying because some famous pretty boy is going away to boarding school.”

The speedster shot her a look then turned sad eyes on Robin. “It’s Richard Grayson!”

Ice shot down Robin’s spine. “What?”

“Yeah, the Waynes are shipping him off to some school overseas,” she said, waving the magazine towards him and he took it. “The family wouldn’t say where since they wanted…”

Robin fell back on his training to keep his face blank and his hands steady as he scanned through the article.

They knew where he was, and they were covering it up. They had come up with a grand lie about him going to school in England to explain his absence.

They weren’t coming for him.

“Poor guy,” he said, closing the magazine and handing it back.

“See, Robin gets it!” he heard Impulse say as he turned and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Small Easter Eggs: The briefcase from Teen Titans episode "Revved Up" and Dick punching Bruce from The New Batman Adventures episode "Old Wounds".

[peachyunjinnie]

❝love me again❞ hyj ― a.

― summary:

after your 2 year relationship with hyunjin ended he came into your life again as your roommates new boyfriend and your feelings play with you. not just you having feelings again he falls for you and you two relive the reason why you fell for each other.

exboyfriendl!hyunjin/female!reader | angst | 1.7k ↬ content warnings: kinda (?) cheating, mention of suicide and self-harm.

a/n: i am not a good angst writer buuuuut i got the request to do this and i really tried my very best ! enjoy !!

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“I really want you to get yourself together, Y/N.” my roommate told me for the hundredth time now. I rolled my eyes and sighed at her.

“Em’ I am not going to do anything, it’s your boyfriend not the president.” I saw her brushing her dress down and having her big eyes on the mirror. Her dress looked so adorable and her effort for this dude is kinda funny. 

You can say that I am a little bitter after my first ever breakup with the one who shouldn’t be said in this household. Even Emma doesn’t even know anything about the one who shall not be named. 

“I know but I want him to like me and my best friend.” She turned around to face me and to give off her smile. She really wanted to make everything perfect. 

“Come on Emma, you two have been together for a month now and he seems really nice from what you said. He will like you no matter what the people around you do or say.” I gave her a small pat on the shoulder as I lied down and closed my eyes for a small power nap. 

This power nap was very needed after I had to endure her love talk the whole night. I was very happy for her, I really am. But having to hear ‘He is so tall, he is so soft but still hot. He is so handsome and looks like a model.’ got me thinking how I am going to hide those dark circles. 

“Get ready, Y/N! He will meet us in 3 hours and we need 30 minutes to drive and you need to get ready with your dress and your make up and your hair and-” She took a deep breath and continued to search for some of her accessories.

“I am so nervous, Jesus.” I could hear her heartbeat on the drivers seat and I leaned against the window.  

Her reaction really reminded me of my relationship and it was the most intense thing I’ve been through with the feelings and the butterflies. I ran around my whole mall to get the perfects eye look or run around my closet to get the perfect matching clothing for him. I completely changed myself for him and was willing to do more than what I would’ve done for anyone.

“Y/N!” Her voice echoed in my head and I woke up from my memories. 

“Wha-what?” I looked around and saw the restaurant on the left side of us.

“We’re here, but we are a little early. So again, what are we gonna do...?” She asked and gave me a reassuring simper.

“I know. socialize and be nice.” I said like a toddler to it’s mom. Ridiculous, I have to be here and see a guy that I don’t even know anything of. I don’t know his name, age nor do I know how he looks. To be 100% honest with you I want to be here for Em’ but I would much rather be at home and just live my holiday life.

“Good girl! Now come we have to be there before he comes.” She took my hand and gave it a small squeeze. But before I could get out of the car, she hugged me tightly. She let out a a little sob and I directly hugged her tighter.

“I am so happy that you’re here to help me, I appreciate it so much.” Her hands holding me to her with no space between us two.

And exactly there I noticed why she is my best friend, and how I should really try to get her boyfriend to like her even more than he obviously already does. 

“Of course, I will try.” I let go of her and looked at her small tears forming in her eyes. She laughed a little and I wiped them away, her big eyes still having a sad look in them

“I’m so grateful that I met you, and I really want you two to get together better. Because you two are the most important people in my life.” She smiled and my heart broke a little and my eyes started to sweat. 

“Em’, come on. I will do my best and get him to like me, okay?” She gave me a small hug again and has gotten out of the car. I sat there on the passengers seat for a small bit and collected myself, did breathing exercises and stepped out of the car. She waited at the entrance and looked at me for the last time with her ‘get your shit together’ look. 

After her stepping inside this diner-like restaurant Em’ ran to the 2nd row on the left. She directly saw someone and this really tall figure stood up and hugged her, after giving her a small kiss on the cheek. His back was turned to me, as I was still standing on the entrance. 

She grabbed his hand and dragged him to me and as he turned around I couldn’t believe my eyes. This dude that I didn’t know the name of nor the face or pretty much anything, is of fucking course hwang hyunjin. But it looked like I wasn’t the only one who was surprised to see the very familiar face. His eyes grew to the double size and his motions and movements seemed stiff and weird, like someone just spoilered him the end of the best movie ever. 

“So Y/N, I want to introduce you- are you two okay?” Emma’s worried look switched to me and Hyunjin. Her hands touching his biceps but no reaction. His eyes glued and stayed on mine, The longer I looked into his shocked eyes, the more memories bubbled out of my suppressed memory. I couldn’t escape his warm eyes. Moments have passed and I came to me again, I looked around me and spotted the bathroom and with another last look at Hyunjin, I quickly went to the bathroom. 

I fled into the first stall and just sat there a blank face, way too shocked to cry at this point. Of fucking course destiny had to make my life even worse than it already is by getting this boy to enter my life again. My breathing became uneasy, my eyes still blankly starring into nothing all of the memories I have made with him hit me harder than ever before. Every touch, every word...every kiss. It was haunting my head with a bitter aftertaste. 

I heard the croaking door opening, steps coming closer and closer until I saw the black leather shoes and the voice of Hyunjin could be heard. After all this time his voice has not changed a single bit, the same deep and smooth velvet voice. All of the strength I have built up is now slowly crashing down. It is all collapsing, all of the healing process I had behind me were now completely destroyed, demolished, wrecked...forgotten.

“Y/N, I- I.” He didn’t say anything and pressed his forehead against the stall door. He was now living through the whole breakup once again, tears slowly running down his cheeks. His whole body was shaking and his mind was going crazy. He regretted every single day of even having the idea of letting go of you, of leaving you...of hurting you. He was closing his eyes shut and who were now bashed red. 

I sat there for a short while before opening the door and rushing into his arms. I have never felt better in any other place than his long and slender arms. His body was trembling against mine and his teardrops fell down onto my shoulder. He was clutching on me, his sobs filling the bathroom. 

“I am so sorry, I don’t want to leave you.” He was sobbing hardly on my shoulder, I squeezed his lower body. All of these sleepless nights and all of these tears. I couldn’t believe how I could forget all of those moments that have changed me as a person. It’s because I-I still after all those months love him.

“I needed you, what did I do? was it me?” I cried out and with these simple questions he stopped the hug and held my face in his big hands.

“I was naive and dumb. I thought I didn’t need anyone in my life. I was a douche and an idiot to ever let you out of my life. I was never depressed, but after realizing my mistake...I couldn’t live, I-I can’t live without you.” his hands still cupping my face, the look of pure fear in his eyes.

“I wanted you back but after what I did nobody wanted to tell me where you are or give me your contact. My whole life was falling apart without you here. I-I then saw you on the profile pic of this girl and I just had to see you.” He smiled and his eyes were still not getting rid of the tears in them.

“We have to go to her, she is in love with you...” 

“I broke up with her after seeing you, I had to.” He caressed my swollen face and my pinched red cheeks. A thousand thoughts rushed through my head and at the same time I had a blank canvas up there.

I could not believe what I just did but my body reacted in a way where every control I should have is now missing me. My lips reconnected with his and every single cell in my body craved for his lips, for so long. His eyes were closed and every moment you two had lived through now played in his mind, your smile, your personality, your eyes...everything was playing in his mind. He couldn’t believe that his first and last wants him as much as he does.

[quickspinner]

Second Chance - Ch 4 Pay the Piper

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Luka groaned into his pillow as his alarm rang shrilly. He’d rather sleep for a few more hours, but he knew he had to get up. He hadn’t meant to stay up half the night working on a new song, just like he hadn’t meant to ditch his dream girl for it practically mid-makeout, but he had and now he had to get his ass out of bed and deal with the consequences.  

He managed to lever himself up enough to look at his phone and found that not only had he overslept, Lucille had texted and she was on her way over to talk to him. Which meant he really needed to get out of bed, like, now. He buried his face back into the pillow. 

There was a knock on his bedroom door. “Luka?” Marinette called uncertainly. “I know you didn’t want me to wake you, but that’s the third time your alarm has gone off. Are you okay?”

He smiled, and rolled over. “‘M fine,” he called roughly, and cleared his throat. “Just lazy. I’m getting up now. Lucille’s coming over, by the way.”

“Oh, sorry, I’ll move my things.”

“No, it’s good, we’ll use the studio for whatever she wants to talk about. Just let her in if she gets here before I’m out, please.”

“Okay, sure.” He heard her footsteps recede, and reluctantly dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom.

Luka showered and dressed as quickly as he could, though his brain was still moving at half speed at best. He really needed coffee. He frowned as he opened the door of his bedroom. He recognized Lucille’s voice and brisk tone, but something bothered him about it. He walked out towards the living room, catching the tail end of his assistant’s cold, calculated speech.

“Mr. Couffaine is very busy, and I’m sure you both had a delightful time, but it’s time to go. I can call a cab to take you anywhere you need to be.” 

Luka suddenly realized exactly what conclusion she’d jumped to and what she’d thought she needed to do about it. As much as the words Juleka was right pained him, he maybe should have told Lucille about Marinette before now.  

“But I—” Marinette began in a small voice, and Luka snapped out of his morning stupor as if he’d been doused in cold water.

“Lucille.” Luka’s voice was steel and both women cringed. Any other time he would have winced at the echoes in the small space from his too-loud reprimand, but at the moment he was pissed.  Controlling his temper as best he could, he crossed the living room and took his assistant by the arm.   

“Please excuse us for a moment, Marinette,” he said, propelling Lucille back to the entryway. Marinette might still hear them, but at least he wouldn’t be tearing into his assistant in front of her.

He kept his voice low but hard as he spoke to her. “Lucille, you’re a fantastic assistant and I appreciate everything you do. I don’t want to lose you but if you ever speak to a guest in my house like that again I will fire you on the spot, are we clear?”  

“Y-y-yes sir,” she said breathlessly, eyes widening. “I’m sorry, I thought she was just—“

Luka cut her off. “Even if she was ‘just’ I wouldn’t tolerate it. Understand? I know other clients expected you to handle things for them but as my representative I expect you to treat everyone you meet with a minimum level of respect, especially when you are in my house.”  

“Of course, sir, you’re absolutely right,” Lucille whispered, looking at the floor. Luka put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. 

“Okay. Now stop calling me sir, it gives me hives. I’m sorry I didn’t think to tell you about Marinette, I’m not exactly at my best this morning. She’s been my friend for years and she needed a quiet place to work on a project, so I offered to let her work here this week whenever she needed to. Now go on in my studio, Lu, I’ll be with you in a few minutes and we can go over whatever you needed to talk about.”

Lucille nodded and fled back across the living room and through the double doors, closing them behind her. Luka sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, turning back to where Marinette still sat rigid on his couch. He went to her and took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. “I’m really sorry about that. Lucille’s worked with a couple other artists before me and she’s—“ He cleared his throat. “Well, let’s just say some of her previous clients bought in a little too hard to the rock star stereotype, and getting rid of one night stands was part of her job. I’m not what she’s used to, I don’t really have people over, and I guess when she found you here so early she jumped to conclusions. I’ve had all our dates blocked off my calendar as private so she didn’t realize I was seeing somebody. You, I mean, I’m just seeing you.”

Marinette relaxed slightly, and Luka tilted his head at her. “You didn’t—did you really think I would—“

“No!” Marinette flapped her hands wildly. “I mean—yes? Sort of? I mean I didn’t figure you were bringing random people home every night but you’re talented and famous and hot, and well, I thought...things happen?”

Luka took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not sure how he felt about that. “I mean, I’ve had a few relationships, but honestly, sex is too much work to bother with if it’s not with someone I care about. I just don’t care for one-night stands, and if I did I certainly wouldn’t delegate my assistant to kick them out afterwards.” His brow creased. “Honestly, I think I’m kind of offended that you think I would. It’s just not my style and I guess I assumed you would know that.” 

Marinette winced. “Of course I do. I’m sorry, I just—she caught me off guard and I—I’m really sorry, I’m stupid, of course you wouldn’t.” 

Luka sighed through his nose. “Lucille should be composed by now, I better go see what she wanted to talk about. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Marinette smiled at him. “I just wasn’t expecting that and she didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

“It’s my fault, I’ve kind of been keeping you to myself. Juleka told me I needed to tell her but I just...I don’t know, I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone yet. I’ll introduce you once she’s had a chance to calm down, she’s really got a good heart. I’m sure she’ll warm up to you when she’s done being embarrassed about the mistake.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll check in with you again before I leave for the day, okay?” 

Marinette nodded, and smiled at him, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “I made coffee if you want some. You look like you were up late.”

“You’re a goddess,” he sighed, leaning forward to rest his head on her shoulder for a moment. “Thanks for understanding, Marinette. About this morning, and last night.” He kissed her lightly and went to find the coffee.

He handed a cup to Lucille as he kicked the study doors shut behind him. “Sorry it’s a mess, I know we usually talk in the living room but Marinette has all her stuff in there and I don’t want to make her move. Have a seat.” He cleared off a stool in the small room for Lucille, but she didn’t sit down.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions,” she said softly, looking into her coffee cup. “I should’ve known better, but...” She took a deep breath, and then continued quickly, “I wanted to talk to you today because you just seem awfully distracted lately. It’s not like you to be so spacey, and you’ve been cancelling things a lot, and now you’re suddenly bringing girls home and that’s not like you at all—“

“A girl. One.” Luka corrected, looking at her over the rim of his coffee cup.   

“It doesn’t matter,” Lucille waved him off. “I’m just saying, I’ve been worried. If you’re feeling overworked I can start spacing things out more. It won’t do any good to anyone if you burn out, and I’ve seen artists do some pretty crazy things when the strain starts to get to them. I don’t want that to be you.”

Luka smiled. “Thanks for worrying about me. I’m fine, Lu, really. Never been better, really, creatively or personally, but I would like to make some changes so I can have a little more time for a personal life if you catch my drift.” The look she gave him clearly said that she didn’t. “I’m—” He coughed and set his coffee down, suddenly inexplicably embarrassed. “Marinette and I, like I said, we’ve been friends for years, and since we’ve reconnected—well, we’re seeing each other and it’s only been a few weeks, but it could get serious pretty quickly. I’d like to have a little more time to spend with her before we go back on tour,” he finished, hating that he blushed like a schoolboy as he said it. He was a grown man, he ought to be able to admit he liked a girl without looking like a tomato.

“Oh.” Lucille frowned, and her stance shifted from the stiff posture she’d held since he came into something more like her normal air of slightly exasperated competence. “I wish you’d told me, Luka, it may be the off season but the press will catch on sooner rather than later and I need to be prepared. You should have told me you had a girlfriend right away. We need to agree on a response to any press questions, and we probably should get a security detail set up for her too.”

Luka frowned. “Do you think that’s necessary?”

“In my experience it is. One night stands and groupies are one thing but a steady girlfriend is a threat to the more extreme fans. And you’ve seen how little respect the press has for personal boundaries.”

Luka groaned and put his face in his hands. “I didn’t even think about that,” he muttered.

“Which is why you need to tell me these things,” Lucille said briskly, and despite her annoyance Luka’s shoulders relaxed, because just like that, they were back to normal. “It’s my job to think about it for you.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Sorry, Lu. Sorry for blowing up at you too. You’re right, I should have told you about Marinette earlier. I guess I was just…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lucille rolled her eyes. “Artists. You’re disgusting when you fall in love. I can’t believe you’ve been blowing off your responsibilities to chase a girl.” Luka winced, but Lucille just grinned wickedly. “Thank God, I thought something was really wrong. You’re sensitive and the lifestyle will eat you alive if you let it.” Her expression softened slightly. “So please keep me informed. It’s my job to help you.”  

Luka smiled, then sighed and hung his head. “Okay, I get it. Thanks for worrying about me, Lu. I’ll introduce you properly, and we can talk about some of these things if Marinette has time. But first, tell me what you think about this.” He reached out for the notebook he’d left on top of the amp and handed it to her. He picked up his guitar, playing the melody he’d worked out last night.

“This is new?” Lucille said, adjusting her glasses as she examined his scribbled notes.

“Been working on it all night.” He played it again, this time singing the chorus from his notes along with it. Luka peeked up at Lucille and smiled. He’d worked with her long enough to recognize the repressed excitement in her face. “It’s not finished, obviously,” he added, “I’ve only got lyrics for the chorus and I haven’t even had time to run it by Rose yet. What do you think?”

“I think this isn’t quite enough to earn you forgiveness for ditching work to cozy up with your secret girlfriend,” Lucille said crisply, and then smiled. “But if you keep working on it, it could be.”

Luka chuckled. “I hope Marinette thinks so too,” he murmured, playing the melody again. 

***

“It was nice to meet you, Marinette, I’m sorry again for jumping to conclusions.” Lucille shook Marinette’s hand and then turned towards Luka. “We’ll discuss your schedule after your recording time today,” she told him firmly. “I’ll go get the car. If you’re not in the lobby in five minutes, I’ll make you regret it.”  

“Thanks Lucille, I’ll see you in a few,” Luka chuckled. He closed the door behind her and turned to Marinette. 

“Which one of you is the boss again?” Marinette giggled.

“Oh I’m the boss,” he grinned. “But Lucille’s the one in charge. Well, I guess I have to go. I hope I didn’t interrupt too much of your work time this morning.”

“I made enough progress yesterday that it’s okay, but I do need to get back to work myself,” Marinette said, tugging on the lapel of his jacket. “So you better make good use of those five minutes.”

Luka leaned in and kissed her, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “Will you stay for dinner tonight too? We can order in so you don’t have to spend time cooking.” 

“I’m spending dinner groveling for your sisters’ forgiveness,” Marinette wrinkled her nose at him playfully. “You’ll be all alone with your music tonight. I wouldn’t want to distract you.”

“You’re not a distraction, you’re an inspiration.” He kissed her again, and this time she returned it, leaning in and slipping her arms around his neck. “I won’t see you until tomorrow, then? You can always come by after dinner, you know I’ll be up.”

“Maybe, but I’m neither a rock star nor a vampire, so I’ll need to be getting back and getting some sleep.” Marinette sighed. “So kiss me like you mean it, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Like I mean it, huh?” Luka checked his phone. “Three minutes left,” he observed, winding his arms around her waist as he leaned in. “I can work with that.”

Two and a half minutes later he pulled back, smiling at the dazed expression she turned up at him. He kissed her cheek, made sure she was steady on her weak knees, and hightailed it to the elevator, grinning like a loon. 

He smiled again when he got home that night, even though Marinette wasn’t there. Her things were all over the place in the living room and kitchen. 

 ***

The first thing he did in the morning was brush his teeth. The second thing he did was to find Marinette, already working, chattering on the phone as she tapped a pencil on one of her sketchbooks. Luka leaned over the back of the couch and nuzzled her cheek, chuckling when she jumped and tried to shoo him away. He waited there until Marinette was off the phone, let her turn around and scold him, and then leaned in to kiss her over the back of the sofa. 

“Jerk,” she muttered, before getting up on her knees to face him and slide her arms around his neck. 

“I waited until you were off the phone,” he protested, sliding his hands up her back. “How’d it go with Jules last night?”

“It was tense at first,” she admitted. “We talked it out, aired a lot of really, really old feelings. We both made some apologies and...I think we’re good now.” 

“Good,” Luka sighed, slumping a little in relief. “Is she okay with us now?” 

“Mmm...I wouldn’t go so far as to say we have her blessing, exactly,” Marinette sighed. “Honestly I think she thinks I still don’t deserve a second chance with you. But I think she’s willing to wait and see what happens as long as you’re happy.” 

“I can live with that,” Luka smiled, squeezing her. “Thanks for talking to her, Marinette.” He tried to kiss her, but she put her hand over his mouth. 

“Oh no,” she told him. “Shave first. I have a strict no-stubble policy. I don’t enjoy kissing sandpaper.”

“Fair,” he chuckled against her hand. “It’s my day to go get yelled at by my trainer, so I’ll deal with all that when I get back. Then I can kiss you?”

“Luka,” she groaned, burying her face in his neck, “I’m working.”   

“You can still work after I kiss you.”

“Do you know how long it took me to get back to work after you left yesterday?” Marinette demanded, and there was nothing remotely like regret or apology in Luka’s grin. Marinette narrowed her eyes and got nose to nose with him. “Don’t get smug with me, Couffaine, we both know I can make things very hard for you and that might make your gym trip a little awkward.”

Luka laughed and dropped his face into her shoulder. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you making jokes like that.” 

“Who’s joking?”

“Do you just want me for my body, Marinette?”

All the teasing went out of her expression and he had to swallow hard at the look in her eyes. “No,” she said softly, “I don’t just want you for your body, Luka.”

There was that feeling again, like a suddenly missing stair in the middle of a staircase he’d walked down a hundred times. Luka leaned his forehead against hers, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek. For a moment they just stood silent, breathing each other’s air. He kept expecting reality to set in, for something to tip him off that this fantasy world he was living in had to give way at some point. He kept expecting to feel the shock of the ground and instead he just kept falling.

The phone in his pocket shrilled, and Luka sighed, pulling away. “That’s my ‘quit staring into your coffee and move’ alarm, so I really need to go. I’ll be home afterward, Lucille blocked out my afternoon to work on new music, so I’ll see you when I get back.” He smiled, rubbing his thumb along her cheek. “I promise I’ll let you work, though.”

Marinette smiled and leaned precariously over the back of the couch to kiss his nose. “Bye Luka.” Then she turned around and flopped back down on the couch with a sigh. 

It was a great week. Marinette brought color and clutter and brightness back into his life, and it felt like home. At the same time, she was organized and considerate, careful not to let her chaos overflow into his working space. He felt her presence down to his bones; Marinette brought a creative energy he hadn’t felt since he and Juleka had moved off of their mother’s boat. Anarka wasn’t always the easiest person to live with, but she was an artist in her own way, and always had a frenetic creative drive that Luka hadn’t realized he’d been missing. Even away from home, he found himself jotting down song notes in the margins of his meeting agendas, and he took to carrying his guitar wherever he went, and every little gap in his schedule saw him sitting in some quiet corner, trying different chord progressions and muttering to himself. 

Seeing that he was caught up in a creative surge, Lucille worked some of her special kind of magic, swapping out some of his less urgent business meetings to work more composition time into his schedule. For him, that meant more time when he could just be at home and work while Marinette worked, testing out his melodies and watching through the open door of his studio as Marinette rehearsed her presentation or spun around the room with fabric samples to see how they moved, sometimes humming along with the melodies he kept playing over and over.

To his utter relief, Juleka stopped needling him, other than occasionally teasing him for his distraction. Neither Marinette nor Juleka would give him the details of what they had talked about, and Rose had just shrugged and shaken her head when he asked her. Marinette told him not to worry his pretty head about it, and Juleka was a lot less polite than either. Luka pouted a bit, just for appearances, but as long as his girls were getting along again, he didn’t much care about the details. He did buy Rose’s favorite chocolates as an apology for having to put up with Juleka’s grouchiness the past few weeks. 

When he showed Juleka what he’d been working on, she just smiled and gave him a few words of encouragement. “Your last passion project went platinum,” she told him, when he complained at the lack of feedback. “You don’t need me, just let it flow.”

It was true; for the first few years, he hadn’t had a lot of input on the songs he performed. The label brought him demos to pick and choose from, but it wasn’t until he had been producing hits on the regular that he was finally able to go to his producers with an album proposal and say, “This is what I want to do.” After that album, Regret Nothing, had been so successful (it had been voted best breakup album of the year by Teen Rock, which he’d found endlessly amusing since there was no actual breakup involved), he’d had a lot more creative control over the music he played. Anarka had, surprisingly enough, been his biggest collaborator on that album, and he’d spent several nights on the Liberty when it was in town, passing a guitar back and forth and talking through old feelings, both his and hers.  

It was a bit of a cold shock to come home one night to find Marinette’s things cleaned up, and Marinette herself sitting on the couch with a small carton of ice cream, looking triumphant. Luka hung his keys on the rack and his coat in the closet and came to sit beside her. 

“So, do I take it from the absence of paper all over my living room that some milestone has been reached?” 

“Yes,” Marinette declared, offering him a spoonful of ice cream, which he accepted. “I’ve gotten the hard part done over the last few days, all the writing and outlining and instructions, so starting on Monday I’ll be working with the team at Gabriel to actually start producing the looks for the presentation show. I hereby return your apartment to you.” She held up his key. “No more tiptoeing around your own home.”

Luka took the key and set it on the end table a little reluctantly. “I really didn’t mind it.” He stole the spoon and took another bite of her ice cream.

“Mmm, I know, because you’re awesome that way,” she said comfortably, leaning her head on his shoulder before snatching the spoon back. “You’ve been a lifesaver this week, I can’t thank you enough.”

“No thanks needed. I was happy to help. It actually felt really good, having someone else around. You know, growing up on the boat, not even having my own room really, you’d think I’d be glad for the space, but most of the time it feels empty. I liked having you here.” He liked it a lot, actually. He kind of hated the idea of her being gone. He put his arm around her and tugged her closer against him.

“I did too,” she admitted. “And I’ll probably drive Alya crazy humming all these half-finished songs you’ve been playing all week. Did you decide what to call that piece from this morning? That riff was killer.”

“Lightning on the water,” he told her. “Rose and I did some brainstorming earlier, I think I can work with it.” 

Marinette nodded thoughtfully. “That works, I can see it.” She giggled. “Was that a pun? Lightning? Brainstorming?”

Luka chuckled. “Unintentional, I promise.” He accepted another spoonful of ice cream, and asked, “So what happens now?”

“Now, I go to Gabriel on Monday and they’ll assign me a team and a workspace, and we make these happen.” She indicated her stack of sketches.   

“So you’ll be busy for a while, huh?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, setting the ice cream on the coffee table and turning to face him. “Yeah, I will be. I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to me.”

“Please don’t say that,” Marinette sighed, sitting back away from him and picking up the ice cream again.  

“I’m sorry,” Luka frowned. He reached for her, catching her hand and tugging lightly. “Is this something we need to talk about?”

“Probably,” Marinette said morosely. 

“I’m listening.”

Marinette took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “It’s...hard to explain. It’s not just one thing, but...I’m busy, Luka. I’m always going to be busy, it’s who I am.”

“Okay.”

“And the people that I dated before, they were busy too. And always there were sacrifices we had to make, things we had to cancel, just—other things we had to deal with. And one of us would always say ‘I’ll make it up to you’ and sometimes it happened and sometimes it didn’t, but...I just started to really hate it.” She looked up at Luka, face earnest. “Why do we have to keep this giant running ledger about who owes who? Things happen, things will always be happening, can’t we just...I don’t know, roll with it? I don’t want the stress of constantly figuring out just how big I screwed up and what would be an equivalent apology gesture, when really it wasn’t that I screwed up at all, life just happened like it always does.” 

She dug viciously into the ice cream, glancing up at him as he thought through what she was saying.

"Okay,” he said finally. “I...think I get it, sort of.”

Marinette sighed. “I can give you an example, but it’s going to involve Adrien, because it was the most obvious with him.” 

“That’s okay,” Luka shrugged. “Don’t feel like you’re not allowed to talk about that, Marinette.” 

She nodded. “Adrien’s dad booked him for a fashion show on my birthday,” Marinette began. “And I know Adrien tried to get out of it, but it just wasn’t optional in his father’s eyes. And it was fine, I was a little sad, but it really wasn’t any big deal. I told him we could celebrate my birthday some other day, just the two of us.” She sighed. “He swore up and down he would make it up to me and he would give me the best late birthday dinner anybody every had. And then he went completely overboard. Everything his romantic little heart could think of. He must have spent a fortune.” 

“And you hated it?”

“I didn’t hate it,” Marinette shrugged. “But I didn’t love it either. I didn’t enjoy it so much that I forgot that he wasn’t there on my actual birthday. So it...kind of seemed like a waste? And I felt horrible that he went to so much trouble and spent so much money and really all I could think was that I would much rather have had him singing happy birthday off key with my parents while they brought out a cake big enough for fifteen people in a room that only held six or seven. I mean, that’s the thing, right, we can’t ever get back those moments, and trying to make another moment twice as good to make up for it, it’s…”  

“Exhausting?” Luka suggested.

“Yes!” Marinette cried. “I mean, if he had done all that stuff for any other reason than because he felt guilty for missing my birthday, I would have enjoyed it way more.” 

“I get it,” Luka took the forgotten ice cream from her hand and set it back on the coffee table. “Come here.” Marinette looked at him, and then, a little reluctantly, slid over into his arms. “So if I’m hearing you right, what you really want me to say is, I accept that you’re going to be busy next week, and I can’t wait until we can be together again.” 

She smiled at him. “And I accept that sometimes you have to work when the inspiration comes, and I’m okay with waiting until you can devote your full attention to me, even though I might be disappointed in the moment.”

“Got it,” Luka smiled, flipping a strand of her hair. “Glad we’re clear.”

Marinette giggled. “So if I kiss you now, are you going to jump up and run off on me again?” she teased.

“No promises,” he grinned. “You’re awfully inspiring.”

“I try.” She nuzzled his neck and kissed it with her cold mouth, making him shiver. “Wasn’t exactly the kind of inspiration I was going for though.”

He sighed. “You’re going to kill me, you know that right?”

Marinette frowned and sat back on the couch. “Too much? I’m just teasing, I don’t mean to pressure you.” 

“I know. I can take it, as long as we’re clear that’s not where this is going tonight.” Luka smiled. “But that absolutely doesn’t mean I want you to leave. Come back over here and kiss me, Marinette.” 

She slid back into his arms and Luka gathered her to him, and despite her teasing, when she kissed him it was soft and tender and unhurried. There was passion in it, the press of her soft body did things to his, the trail of her fingers over his skin and the feel of her silken steel muscles under his hands made his heart pound and his breath catch, but the feelings that threatened to overwhelm him weren’t coming from his body.  Luka tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her closer, deeper, and let her push him down onto the cushions. 

Marinette pulled back suddenly, and Luka blinked hazily up at her. “Are you okay?” she asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re only using one hand.” 

Luka bit his lip, feeling heat creep up his neck. “I’ve been playing a lot this week and my left hand is pretty roughed up from the guitar,” he admitted, flexing the fingers that rested on her jeans over her hip. “I mean, the calluses are always there, but—anyway, some girls don’t like it.” 

“Well I do,” she whispered huskily, plucking his hand off her hip and placing it against her face. “Touch me, Luka.” 

He did, stroking her cheek and down her jaw, and then down her neck to her collarbone. She arched into his touch and he pulled her back down into another kiss, both hands roaming over her face and neck and shoulders this time. She nearly purred when he ran his callused fingers along the back of her neck, surging against his mouth before breaking away. “Those girls are stupid,” she muttered, giving him no time reply before her mouth was against his again. “You make music with those hands. Idiots.”

Luka laughed into their kiss, and she giggled back at him. He cupped her face in both hands, and for a moment they just looked at each other.

In the back of his mind, he knew he had to hit the ground sometime. He couldn’t fall forever. 

He could feel himself bracing for impact even as he kissed her again.

[fanfoolishness]

a world for the birds (2/10)

Andy DeMayo took up birding years ago, but his favorite hobby takes on new meaning when shared with his nephew Steven.

A series of looks at Andy and Steven’s growing family relationship.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

 ***

Chapter 2: complicated

Andy tried not to get his hopes up too much.  After all, Steven was a teenager, and Andy himself had been in his late twenties before he’d really started paying attention to birds.  Just wasn’t an activity you saw a lot of kids doing.  Most of the people he ran into on his travels with binoculars were older than he was.

He tried to prepare himself for the inevitability of Steven having lost interest since last month, for him to cheerfully admit he hadn’t cracked open the Sibley’s at all and would rather go to the arcade or hang out with his friends.  And that would be okay, the kid gave it a shot and he didn’t like it, and that was still pretty good, right?

He was utterly dumbfounded to walk up the steps to the beach house and see Steven sitting there, binoculars around his neck, the Sibley’s flipped open to hawks.  “Uncle Andy!  I’m glad you’re here.  Is that an osprey?”  Steven pulled off his binoculars and handed them to Andy, pointing out a ways beyond the surf.

It took him a moment to adjust Steven’s binoculars, but Andy grinned once he got the bird in sights.  The osprey hovered above the waves, white wings with black patches stretched wide, large keen eyes in a clever face watching for signs of fish below.  “Sure is.  You really been keeping up with this stuff?  I mean, you don’t have to if it’s not your thing.”

Steven smiled up at him.  “Well -- I mean, it’s something you really like, right?  And it’s something we can do together.  I dunno, I think that’s cool.  I love playing music with my dad, or helping the Gems build Little Homeschool, or training with Connie -- it’s something you and me can share.  And it’s fun.  I always thought animals were really cool, but I’m really getting into the life list thing.  Like collecting G.U.Y.S. and G.A.L.S. toys, but real.”

“Yeah, that makes sense, kid.  I think,” said Andy.  “Huh.  You’re a very positive person, you know that?”

Steven laughed.  “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

“So what’s this Little Homeschool thing?  You guys building something?”

Steven looked guilty for a second, a furtive wince.  “You remember Garnet's wedding?"

"I remember runnin' for my life when a spaceship showed up," Andy snorted.  "Yeah."

"You know we lost the barn then, right?”

"Nah, I just got outta there as fast as I could.  Didn't get a chance to reconnect with your dad until weeks after that."  Andy sighed, gnawing on his bottom lip with his teeth.  “I did notice it wasn’t there the last few times I’ve flown out this way.  Meant to ask about it at the wedding, actually, but something distracted me... don't remember what...."

"Aw, come on, Uncle Andy," Steven said, raising his eyebrows.

"So what happened to it?  Some magic stuff?”

“Yeah… my friend Lapis kinda ran off with it to the moon, then she dropped it on one of my Mom’s relatives.   They're the ones who were attacking us at the wedding.  The barn didn’t make it,” said Steven, looking sheepish.

“I don’t even wanna know how she took it to the moon.  The actual moon?  I mean, I know your space family, y’know, comes from space, but I thought they used spaceships and stuff. Not barns.”  Andy shook his head.  He had to figure out how to stop being surprised by the stuff that came out of this kid’s mouth.

“She has water powers and can fly,” said Steven matter-of-factly.  “Gems don’t need to breathe in space, so all she had to do was surround the barn with water and fly it up there --”

“Yeah, when you put it like that, it sounds so easy,” Andy chuckled.

“I know it’s weird,” said Steven in a rush.  “Who just flies off with a barn to the moon, right?  But anyway, since the barn didn’t survive the fight we had with my mom’s relatives, the land was free.  There’s a lot more Gems living on Earth than there used to be -- I mean, it’s complicated, but that’s the gist of it -- and they needed somewhere to live.  So they’ve started building a little colony near Beach City.  Mayor Nanefua did some complicated government stuff to make it all legal and it’s going really well.  We could go on a tour, if you want --”

Andy didn’t know why his chest felt so heavy so suddenly.  He’d known the barn was gone for a few months, didn’t know what had happened, but knew it had to be something related to the blue and green ladies that lived there.  He’d already made his peace with that.  So why did Steven’s explanation make him feel a little bit like crap?  He thought of his mom and dad tinkering in the barn, the smell of grease and metal, summers with Greg and the other cousins running around in the fields, and he blinked hard.

“Are you okay, Uncle Andy?” asked Steven uncertainly.  “Maybe we should have asked you first--”

“Nah, it’s fine,” said Andy.  And it was, or at least, it would be.  “I don’t have a lotta time this visit, but maybe next time we could go check it out.”  He shrugged.  “Why are there more Gems now?”

“Oh!  Well, there actually were a lot of Gems on Earth, but they were corrupted -- jeez, how do I explain that -- they were sick and that made them act really weird and look like monsters.  They didn’t know who they were.  But the Diamonds and I -- my mom’s relatives -- we healed them.  They’re just like Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl now.”  He considered.  “Okay, maybe not exactly.  They still look a little different and they lost thousands of years of memories, but they’re trying the best they can to get back into a normal life…”  His voice trailed off.

Andy stared, raising an eyebrow.  “That sounds, uh, intense.”

Steven held his hands out, shrugging.  “I guess it kind of does.”

“Why’d your mom’s folks help you with that?  I thought you guys were fighting so bad you dropped the barn on them.”  Andy leaned back against the railing, crossing his arms.

“I mean, that was Lapis, not me,” said Steven, laughing, but the sound seemed forced.  “It’s, uh,  really complicated.  They didn’t know I had my mom’s gem yet, and then when they did they didn’t realize that I wasn’t her just shapeshifting, and we -- they -- um, the important thing is they came around.  Eventually.”  His hand dug into his shirt over his stomach, like it hurt him.  

“I don’t know what any of that means,” Andy admitted.  “But family’s complicated.  Sometimes it ain’t easy, dealing with them.  You know?”

“Yes,” Steven said in relief.  “Yeah, that, exactly.”  He let out a long, shaky breath, lowering his hand and resting it in his lap.

Andy gave the kid a worried look.  He didn’t like how he’d looked almost… scared, talking about his mom’s family like that.

“So,” he said brightly, changing the subject, “you still wanna check out some summer birds?  Thought maybe we could find some nests around the woods.  It’s a good time for it.”

“Sure!” said Steven.  He scrambled to his feet and leapt in the air over the edge of the deck, and before Andy could cry out, he floated gracefully to the ground.  Oh, yeah.  The floating thing.  Andy knocked a fist against his chest, trying to fight back against the burst of adrenaline that had flooded through him a second ago.  Phew.

He took the long way down, bringing Steven’s binoculars with him, holding the handrail down the stairs, careful not to slip.

***

“Uncle Andy!  What’s this little fella?” Steven asked in a whisper, staring hard at a bird a few feet away, perched boldly on a log in the open.

Andy glanced at the bird, neat gray body, jaunty black cap, rusty rump.  “Gray catbird,” he said softly.  “They’re close to mockingbirds.  Not nearly as good as mimicking as they are, but they do their best.  Mostly they just meow.  Mew, mew. ”  The catbird flicked its tail, cocking its head at them.

“That is adorable!” Steven squealed.  “Aww, hey there, little buddy.”  The bird hopped off of the log, strutting around in the loam, bold as you please.  “I like this one.”

“They’re pretty common.  You’ll see ‘em all over.  Even in cities and towns.  The only place you don’t really see ‘em is out west.”

They watched the catbird for a moment before it flew off into the trees.  “You said they can mimic things?”

“The mockingbird’s the best at it,” said Andy.  “How do you think it got the name?  The males’ll sing anything they think might get a female’s attention.  They can sound like hawks, jays, shoot, I’ve even heard them sing car alarm songs in Southland City.”

“It’s kind of like shapeshifting, but for birds,” said Steven.  “That’s pretty cool.”

“Steven,” said Andy seriously, “all birds are pretty cool.”

“Ha, of course, Uncle Andy.”

***

(Bird photos from the Cornell Lab's All About Birds site.)

[writingthegoodwrite]

The Reconnect ( Part 3)

Namjoon x Reader

Life socked me in the jaw but I’m back! Hope you all enjoy!

Enjoy! ♡ Part 1 Part 2 

It’s been nearly four years since the signal went out. In a world that had been becoming increasingly more connected, when the connection failed everything fell apart. Two weeks ago you arrived with your son at a gated campground that was now home to many survivors. You find yourself reconnected with someone you hoped, yet never imagined you would ever see again, and if the camp doesn’t find it beneficial to keep and support the two of you, you would be sent back on your way.

Knowing this would be a lot more to process and the night had already been intense for him you just gave him a sheepish smile, “Yes, he is.”

You waited for him to say something further, but he looked like his mind was racing to catch up. “Jun is our son. Take your time wrapping your brain around it, I'm gonna step outside and get some air, if you have any questions.”

You backed out of the tent before he had time to respond. Your face felt so warm and the chill of the night air was welcome as it cooled your cheeks.

You sat on the top of the picnic table just a few feet from the tent and were so lost in your own attempts to clear your head that you nearly jumped out of your skin when Namjoon stepped up and sat down next to you.

Your heart started to race and you couldn’t get your breathing in order to calm it down. Suddenly, you couldn’t get the thought out of your mind that they wouldn’t keep you here and you were going to lose him all over again. Jun would lose his father before he even knew he found him. You locked eyes with him, at a total loss for words, and felt your composure just slip away.

Namjoon turned silently toward you and wrapped you in his arms. He just held you and waited for your breathing to steady itself.

You listened to his heart and hoped that this wasn’t the last time he held you. What would you do if they told you to leave? Could you ask him to leave when what he did was so important here? Could you leave and not know if and when you would ever be able to see each other again? Could you just take your son with you and keep them apart? Does he even want his son?

Then everything clicked. You knew what you had to do. If he wanted a connection with his son, you would leave and let Jun stay with his father. It was safe here, and you couldn’t put your son’s life at risk by staying on the road any longer.

You were starting to know safe places around the city from your supply runs. You could survive nearby, and keep bringing supplies over and leave letters for them. Maybe hope that you could be allowed to see them on occasion.

You hoped that it wouldn’t be an issue, that you would be allowed to stay on, but you would talk to Namjoon tonight, and then prepare yourself for the worst.

He continued to hold you once you calmed down. He rubbed your back and asked, “You OK?”

You laughed and leaned back to meet his gaze, wiping your face. “Are you??” You took one of his hands in yours, seeing that he looked as rough as you’re certain you did. “One hell of an evening, wasn't it?”

He tilted his face up to the night sky for a few seconds and took a deep breath before leaning forward and giving you an exhausted, but not unhappy smile. “Yeah, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” he said, squeezing your hand. He pulled you back up against his side with the hand you held, and wrapped the other around your back. “That's how you were able to get here, isn’t it? You were back in Seoul before everything went dark?”

You sniffed and nodded. “I was with my sister almost two months when I realized I was pregnant.” You leaned into the warmth of his side, and drew strength from him to continue. “I think it actually helped her to get her back to a place where she could begin to move on. She wasn’t spending all of her time avoiding the world anymore. The morning I went to confirm the pregnancy with a doctor, she bought me a one-way ticket back.”

You struggled to hold it together as you thought of your family, wondering if you would ever see them again. If they were alive…

“You’re worried about them,” he said, voice filled with understanding.

His voice startled you out of your daze. “I have to believe they're safe. I can’t entertain any other thought.”

He pressed a soft kiss to your temple before be leaned his forehead there. “How was…I mean did you…” he had so many questions, yet he struggled to put one together. His voice shook when he finally said, “Was it a difficult pregnancy? How did you manage it when things were so fucked up? How is it you made it all the way here?”

You drew in a ragged breath and tried to gather your thoughts. “I was staying at a hotel just up from the airport when it happened. I had tried to call you to let you know I was back in Korea and that we'd talk when you finished that leg of the tour. It kept going to voicemail, which I thought it might since you all kept your phones off on concert days.”

You looked up and he nodded for you to continue. “Then everything happened before I was able to contact you. There was confusion everywhere for a few days, then after a week or so things started getting violent. People started banding together, and fighting to get what they needed to survive.” You gave a sad smile, “Well, you know what it was like.”

Namjoon’s eyes glistened with tears. “I do, but I wasn't pregnant, I can't even begin to know what that was like for you. Were you alone when you gave birth?" Tears silently slipped from the corners from his eyes as he spoke. “You're the strongest person, I've ever known. It’s a miracle we found each other again.”

Before you could voice agreement you were both interrupted by one of the women in charge of the campground. She was jogging across the street, as she called out to you both. “Hey! Mr. Kim, I see you've met Y/n!”

She walked up and placed a hand on his shoulder and looked cautiously at us. She looked like deer caught in the headlights. “It's so nice of you to comfort her, it has been a long journey for her to make it here. You've met her son of course, his name is Jun!” She tried to look bright and friendly, but she looked unnerved.

You could tell she must have feelings for Namjoon. Not that you could blame her, he was one of the best people you had ever known.

“Our son,” he said all dimples. “Soo Ah, this is the woman I have been telling you about. I never expected to see her again, but fate must have brought us back together.” He turned his smile on me and he remained oblivious to the look of shock now covering her face. “Can you believe it? We're reunited, and I have a son!”

Soo Ah pulled her hand back as though she touched a flame. Her eyes darted around as she pulled herself together. Then, suddenly she was calm and had a smile that was not only incredibly forced, but it was also too wide and akin to something out of a horror movie. She clasped her hands together in front of her heart and said, “Well, that is wonderful news!” She nodded slowly and started to back away, “I'll let you get back to your reunion. It's just so wonderful. Really. I'll see you both at the decision meeting on Friday.”

Namjoon seemed not to notice how weird things were, but you didn’t trust her. Not for a second.

“We're running low on work and so we sadly won’t be able to keep on everyone this time. But nothing to worry yourselves about. Everything will work out just as it is meant to.” She turned her eyes on you and your blood ran cold. “Nothing can get in the way of fate, after all. Enjoy the rest of your evening,” she said before she turned and jogged back off toward the main house.

You looked over and gave Namjoon a worried look. “Should I be worried? Do you think that I could get turned away?”

He shook his head confidently. “We’ve needed a doctor for a while now. Plus, now she knows about us.” His smile eased your anxiety. “She knows how much I love you, and I don't think she would ever separate our family.”

You felt as though you could fly. His words warmed your heart, and temporarily allowed you to forget Soo Ah. “You love me?”

He took your face between his palms and the world fell away. “I have loved you every single second of every day since you told me that if I broke one more pair of sunglasses you would remove my eyes, and thus my need for them.”

You chuckled at the memory. “Well, you went through 3 pairs in 2 weeks and I didn’t trust them to get the ones that you liked, and you roughhouse like a child, so I had to keep-"

Namjoon pressed his lips to yours, cutting off your tirade. Your eyes fluttered shut and your arms crept up around his neck.

He trailed his hands down your sides and wrapped his arms tightly around you. The last time you kissed him it was full of passion, but it was rushed, knowing you were on a time limit.

Now, you had the rest of your lives to spend with each other, so you took your time. His kisses were soft and slow. When he tilted his head and deepened the kiss, you ran your tongue slowly across his and you felt his breath hitch.

A dog barked in the distance and it broke through and all at once you remembered that you were outside, in full view of anyone that might be out, and just a few feet away from where your son lay asleep in the tent.

You ended the kiss and gazed up into the eyes you could spend a lifetime lost in. You were both short of breath, and unwilling to break contact.

Namjoon was the first to speak, “I should let you get some sleep.”

You nodded, “Yeah, sleep. It's been a long day.” Your tried to focus but couldn’t bring your self to look away from his lips. He tucked some loose strands of hair behind your ear and your lips found his again. His hands tightened on your waist and it took every ounce of willpower you had to lean back from him. “You're right, we should sleep.”

“Y/n?” he asked, looking towards the tent. “When do we tell Jun? How do we tell him?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he already knew, or if he figures it out fast.” He looked confused so you continued, “He's been looking at pictures of you his whole life. I've told him about you from day one. He’s been talking about finding you, ever since he could talk.”

Namjoon gave you a proud look, “You've done such a good job with him, he speaks better than most kids his age. He forms sentences that are usually too complex for a three year old.”

“Well, we have had a lot of time to do nothing but talk, I've always kept a couple books with us to read to him, and trading for new ones when we could. He loves stories.” You grinned up at Namjoon, “he also loves telling stories. He's pretty good, too.”

He looked every bit the proud father. “I've noticed. He really loves to talk. Since the first day he was brought to class he tries to help the older kids that are struggling.” His chin trembled as he tried to reign in his emotions. He placed a warm hand over your abdomen and you could feel the tremor in his touch. “Thank you for keeping him safe…for keeping you safe. More than anything, I wish that I could have been there to support you. To protect you both. To hold you when you were scared and be there when you gave birth…”

You pressed a finger over his trembling lips. “I'm here now. Don't worry about the past, and anyway, you did protect me, you know.”

He released a shaky laugh, “How did I do that?”

You pressed your free hand over his hand and squeezed his fingers lightly. “You gave me Jun. If I hadn’t been pregnant I would have still been with my sister when everything happened.” You knew now, that everything, even that last night with him had happened just as it had for a reason. “I wouldn’t have had the strength to survive. Joon, you saved my life by giving me our son. So it doesn’t matter how difficult it was. If I didn’t have him, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

You could see both the heartbreak at not having been there for you, and the healing at your reunion pass across his face. “I'm afraid to go to sleep.”

Instantly worried, you reached your hand up to gently feel at the back of his head, “Is it your head? Are you in pain?”

He took your hands and pressed them to his chest. “I'm afraid to go to sleep and wake up to find that this was all a dream. I can’t tell you how often I dream that you manage to find your way back home.”

You shook your head and lifted a hand to his cheek. “I'm home. This is real. Wherever you are, I am home.”

His brows drew together. “We never even had our first date, and now we're parents. You're going to have to be patient with me while I learn to be a father. I don’t know if I will be any good at it, but Y/n, I want it more than my next breath.”

“How do you think I learned to be a mother? I just love him fiercely and know that I would do anything to make sure he is safe and happy. And hey, despite my inexperience, he turned out to be a pretty cool kid, don’t you think?”

“Maybe I'm biased already, but he is the best. The absolute best kid I've ever met. And hey, you weren’t inexperienced, you had plenty of practice taking care of me and the guys. We were all basically giant children."

You nodded, “You're right, you had me in training for this from day one.” You winked and made a goofy face, drawing another precious smile from the man who held your heart and nodded towards the tent. “Now, how about we go spend our first night together as a family.”

He led you over to the tent and leaned his forehead to yours and whispered, “Thank you for bringing hope home.”

[svtmatokis]

Jihoon Office AUP1

Hello friends~ So as promised, I will be re-posting the Jihoon Office AU! today as well as two other fics which was listed in earlier posts. I hope you guys enjoy it!!! (I’m not going to blab much as I repost this since they are what they are...reposts...)

Genre: Romance/Fluff/Angst

Plot: You and Seungcheol have been best friends forever and as a favor, you agree to be temporary assistant of the one Lee Jihoon.

Words: 3427

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 -

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!!” your best friend Seungcheol said as you walked into his office building. “I owe you lunch, dinner anything!” 

“Why are you making such a big deaI out of this?” you asked as he took you to your floor. “It’s not like you’re having me work with the devil or anything..” 

Seungcheol only grinned nervously at you, “You’re doing me and my dad a huge favor so I can’t thank you enough.” 

You and Seungcheol were best friends since high school until you decided to go overseas for university while he stayed and went to a local university. Though the two of you kept in contact over the last few years over the phone and email, you realistically haven’t seen each other since the end of summer graduating year. 

During your breaks, you never returned home to Korea and opted to travel the world instead but after graduation you had worked abroad as a business executive for three years till you felt like home was calling you so you decided to move back to Korea and that was where you reconnected with Seungcheol.

A few weeks ago, he had asked you for a favor since he knew your major had something to do with business and without knowing what it was outside of just knowing that it was a temporary assistant job, you agreed. 

Now as he got more and more nervous, you couldn’t help but wonder why? He hadn’t told you much about the job except it was to be an administrator which was fine for now. You had sent in your application to various companies hoping to hear back from at least one, but a temporary assistant job would do in the meantime.

As the two of you exited the elevator, Seungcheol lead you to the door of one of the managers. He knocked on the door but was met with a bark.

“What did I say about not bothering me when I’m in the middle of something?!”  a loud voice boomed from behind the door.

The voice made you jump a little as Seungcheol hesitantly opened the door and peeked his head in. 

“Morning” Seungcheol said with a grin on his face. 

Jihoon looked up from the paperwork he was doing and the cold demeanour in the room diminished,  “Oh, Seungcheol. Sorry, I thought it was one of the interns again, they’ve been coming to my office with questions all morning.” 

Seungcheol shook his head, “It’s good, I wanted to introduce you to the person who’s going to be filling your assistants spot while she’s out sick for the next three weeks.” He said, “More like stress leave because of how hard you are to please” he muttered  himself though you heard him and giggled before he opened the door wider allowing you to walk in.

“Jihoon, this is Y/N, my best friend from high school, Y/N, this is Jihoon, he’s one of the managers and board members.” Seungcheol introduced as you bowed.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’ll do my best.” you said smiling at him. 

A slight flush appeared on Jihoons cheeks as he saw you walk in the door and couldn’t help but stare and think how pretty you were before shaking himself out of his daze. 

Straightening himself up, he nodded his head, “Hello, I have a really busy schedule so you better be able to keep up. I don’t know what Seungcheol has told you, but this job isn’t easy.” 

You inwardly smirked, so he was one of those kinds of people. You nodded your head, “I  wouldn’t expect anything less.” 

Seungcheol smiled at you before turning to Jihoon, “I’ll leave her to you then.” he turned to you, “I’ll see you at lunch?” 

You nodded your head, “I’ll see you at lunch.” 

Seungcheol nodded and walked out of the office leaving you and Jihoon in an awkward silence.

Jihoon cleared his throat as you looked at him. “I’ll introduce you to some of the people on our floor and the managers first then I’ll show you your desk.” he got up and opened the door as you followed him out. 

He introduced you to various people like interns and associates before he turned to walk to another set of offices.

“Oh perfect, they’re all in here.” he said knocking on the door. 

Four sets of eyes turned to look at you and you smiled nervously, only recognizing Seungcheol.

“Guy’s minus Seungcheol, this is Y/N, she’s going to be filling the spot of my assistant till she gets back. If you need anything from me, it goes through her.” Jihoon said introducing you as you bowed before Jihoon continued. 

“Y/N, these are a few of the other managers here, of course you know Seungcheol, the one with the ponytail is Jeonghan, the one who looks like a sloth-”

“Hey!”

“Is Wonwoo and the one next to him is Joshua.” Jihoon finished. 

Each of the managers greeted you with a smile as Seungcheol explained that the two of you were high school friends and that you had recently returned from abroad. 

Once introductions were finished, Jihoon said that he was going to show you where your desk was and what kind of work to expect. As the door closed, Joshua couldn’t help but speak up. 

“I think I went to university with her.” 

Three set eyes were on him as Seungcheol nodded his head.

“Ah...that’s right...you went to UCLA right?” he asked as Joshua nodded a look of realization dawning on his face. 

“That’s right, she was actually in a few of my classes and she graduated top of our year. She’s smart, like really smart. She could almost give Jihoon a run for his money.” Joshua said and looked at Seungcheol, “Why did you hire her as Jihoon’s assistant?” 

Seungcheol shrugged, “His last one took stress leave because of how hard he ran her to the  ground. Y/N’s been an executive for a few big companies world wide and is known to be well respected in her field.  She works just as hard as Jihoon but when it comes to personalities they’re completely different. I figured that if she survives three weeks with him, we can look into having her fill that manager position we have open.” 

The three other men looked at each other in contemplation. Seungcheol did have a point. Jihoon was one of the toughest managers of the company, holding everyone under him to a high standard. He himself was a workaholic, almost never leaving the office till late. While everyone else would go out after work, he would stay until he was actually done everything for the day.

“He has a point, she’s been working abroad ever since graduation. She has a lot of experience that we could use.” Joshua said backing Seungcheol up.

Jeonghan and Wonwoo shared a look before nodding their heads. 

“If she can last the next three weeks with Jihoon, we’ll look into having her on board with us permanently.” Wonwoo said as the three nodded in agreement. 

Meanwhile, Jihoon had just shown you to your desk which had been left in a complete mess by his previous assistant. He showed you the whole email system and what software you would be working with, thanking the heavens that you were familiar with all of them. 

“If you have any questions, I’ll be in my office. I have three meetings back to back today, I expect you to have all the paperwork ready by 1pm. That’s an hour before my first meeting.” he said before going back to his office and slamming the door shut. 

You looked at the door and looked back at your new desk before letting out a sigh. Seungcheol owed you. You looked at the clock and noticed that it was already 10am, meaning you had three hours to get all the paperwork Jihoon needed for his meetings. You looked at the calendar and saw the name of the three meetings listed and you got to work. 

It was 12:45 when Jihoon stepped out of his office. He had expected you to come into his office multiple times like his previous assistants had done but was shocked when he saw you working on the computer, desk neatly organized and three stacks of papers labeled 2pm, 4pm and 5pm. 

Before Jihoon could make a comment, Joshua and Seungcheol turned the corner and made his way to your desk. 

“Hey Y/N” Joshua said waving as you looked up from your computer though you continued typing making Seungcheol chuckle.

“What’s up?” you asked the two boys though you noticed Jihoon from the corner of your eye. 

“We were just about to grab lunch, want to come with?” Seungcheol asked.

Before you could respond Jihoon cut in, “Y/N, how are my notes for my meetings coming along?” he asked making you turn to look at him. 

“Lunch sounds great actually.” you said nodding before taking the stacks of papers and handing them to Jihoon, “And here are the notes for your meeting, I’ve reviewed and highlighted a few key points. I hope you don’t mind.” you said grabbing your purse, “I’ll be going for lunch now” you bowed at him before following Seungcheol and Joshua out leaving Jihoon standing there, amazed that you actually got the notes done on time, well slightly early to be exact.

“Did you go to UCLA?” Joshua asked once the three of you were seated. 

You nodded your head, “Why?” 

“You took Professor Birk’s class right? Economics?” Joshua asked and you realized why Joshua had looked slightly familiar. 

“We were in the same study group weren’t we?” you asked as he nodded, a smile making its way to his face. “Wow, small world. How did you end up in Korea?” 

Joshua shrugged his shoulders, “Seungcheol and I have been friends for quite sometime and after graduation, I came to visit and he offered me a position at his fathers company. Three years later, here I am.” he explained, “What about you? I recall you were the only one in our class who had internship offers from Europe.” 

“And I took them” you said smiling, “But after three years abroad, I got home sick and thought it was time to come home.” 

“Plus she missed me” Seungcheol said grinning as you rolled your eyes. 

“In your dreams Cheol.” you said rolling your eyes at your best friend. “So what’s the deal with Jihoon? You guys asked me out for lunch but didn’t extend the invite to him though he was standing right there.” 

Seungcheol and Joshua looked at each other before Seungcheol replied, “We ask him all the time to go out for lunch but he normally has meetings and doesn’t have the time. I guess we just got to a point where we stopped asking because he always kept saying no. We’re not sure if he even eats or not, he’s not really close with anyone on the management team except Joshua.” 

Joshua nodded his head, “I normally remind him to eat and to go home early or what not but he never listens. Always in his office till late at night. He’s going to run himself dry one day, I swear.” 

You nodded your head silently, thinking about all the points that both boys made. In a way, Jihoon reminded you of yourself, always working never ending. You remembered the times where you would skip lunch because you would have to go for meetings or how many of your co workers thought you were cold because you never went out with them to eat though in reality, you were just focused on the goal. 

Then you had met Mingyu who had been your mentor and good friend at your old firm. He had learned right away that you were the type to not eat when you were busy and because you were dedicated to your career, there would often be times where you would go a full day without eating which didn’t go unnoticed by Mingyu.

(Flashback)

One day, you had back to back to back meetings and didn’t have time to sit down. You were running completely on fumes and if you didn’t stop soon, you would collapse. Mingyu picked up on this fast and had been observing you throughout that day. He knew that you hadn’t eaten nor were you planning on eating at all until your meetings were done and what kind of friend would he be if he didn’t step in and help you?

In between your second and third meeting, you had about a thirty minute break which you were going to use to review the notes for your third meeting when you saw a box of your favorite sushi and milk tea on your desk with a note on it.

Just because you’re busy doesn’t mean you can’t make time to have a quick meal. The work can wait, your health can’t!  - M

(End of Flashback)

You smiled at the memory and thought of your old friend. He had saved you that day and after that, you had remembered to at least snack between meetings, keeping various power bars in your desk just in case. 

As the three of you continued lunch, you couldn’t help but let your mind drift to Jihoon who was probably reviewing the notes for his first meeting, he had a break between his first and second meeting where he would probably review the notes for his second and third meetings at once. This was how you assumed his mind worked. 

An idea came to your mind as you finished your lunch and soon you were making your way back to the office with an extra bag in his hand.

Jihoon was walking back to his office after his first meeting which had been a success. The highlighted notes you had made really helped him get his point across and he had to admit, he was slightly impressed. 

He saw you sitting at your desk, organizing some paperwork he had set aside for you to do when you had time which made him see that you were efficient with your work. He stepped into his office and was greeted with the smell of something delicious. 

He looked at his desk and saw a bowl of jajangmyeon next to his notes. He looked around the office to see who could’ve left it for him though he caught that knowing smile on your face as a small blush made a way to his. He closed his door as he opened the container, getting hit with the smell of the noodles, before proceeding to eat while reviewing his notes for his second meeting. 

After your first week, you and Jihoon had managed to come up with a system that worked for the two of you. After your first day, Jihoon had learned that you were completely different than what he had assumed and after talking with the other managers, it was safe to say that you were meeting all of his expectations. As the week went on, you continued to buy lunch for him and left it on his desk for him to eat in between meetings. Though he knew that the lunches were from you, it was as if you had a silent agreement not to verbally acknowledge it.

It was Friday and Jeonghan had invited you out for dinner and drinks with Joshua, Seungcheol, Wonwoo and to your surprise, Jihoon. 

The group ended up at a lounge where everyone looked much more relaxed and you were finally able to see how everyone was. 

You noted that Wonwoo and Jihoon were more of the quiet ones, whilst Jeonghan and Seungcheol had a tendency to lead the conversation, Joshua would give his two cents here and there but overall would just listen and smile.  

As the night, everyone had a good time and for the first time since you started, you were able to have a conversation with Jihoon without the awkwardness, though it was probably due to the alcohol running through both your systems. 

You learned that he had once been passionate about music producing before real life had taken a toll and he had to focus on the business though if he had the time, he would definitely go back to producing again. It was the first time he had thanked you for the meals you had secretly bought him so he would eat, in which you completely denied though it was obvious it had been you. 

The group had learned that you and Seungcheol had been best friends since freshman year of high school and that the two of you had a big sibling complex with one another since you two were only children which is why there were times Seungcheol came off as protective. 

Jihoon watched you that night, all he could watch was you. When you talked to Wonwoo about the endless library you had and your love for books, or when you spoke with Jeonghan about this cafe you had once gone to in Paris and would like to go to again. There were also times where  Joshua would bring up a college story of something he remembered from class which in the end would end up either embarrassing you or you embarrassing him. 

He watched you and Seungcheol closely to see if there was anything more than friendship was going on but cancelled that out when he saw you help him get the cute hostess’s number. 

At the end of the night, everyone went their separate ways after you ensured them that you were okay walking back to your apartment alone, with each of them, including Jihoon making you promise that you text them when you arrive home. 

As Jihoon watched you walk in the direction of your apartment, he couldn’t help but feel this unsettling feeling in his gut. Quickly shaking it off and telling himself it was because he had quite a bit to drink, he started his walk to his apartment which was seemingly on the same path as yours.

As he was walking to his apartment he heard a scream which sounded almost like your voice which caused his senses to awaken. 

A second scream had him running to the direction where he heard it coming from, him taking his phone out just in case he had to call 911.

Your scream lead him to an alleyway where he saw you pinned against the wall with a man holding your shoulder while you had a few scratches on your legs probably from falling. Jihoon looked around him for something he could use as a weapon, a bat or a stick of some sort. 

You struggled against your captors grip as you let out another scream in which this time he covered your mouth with his hand. 

The man chuckled deeply as he watched you struggle. “I told you that you shouldn’t have come back. Now you’re going to have to pay” he said his face getting close to yours, “Seungcheol isn’t here to protect you anymore.” he slapped you hard causing you to fall on the ground.

Before anything else could happen, the man was quickly knocked away. You struggled to look up but saw someone kicking the man who was now on the floor. You struggled to see how it was but you felt too dizzy to do so. The next thing you knew, there was someone else joining that person and more punches were thrown before your world went black. 

(Five minutes earlier)

The moment Jihoon saw the man’s hand touch you, he was already running towards you with a plank in his hands, hitting the guy behind the legs so he would fall. 

He continued to kick the man who was struggling to get up but found it impossible when another flurry of punches were thrown from a different direction. 

Jihoon looked up to see Wonwoo glaring at the guy on the floor who was now knocked out. Both men clearly out of breath.

“Wonwoo” Jihoon said as man looked at him with a nod.. 

“I was walking by when I heard a scream and then I saw you running from the other side. When I realized it was Y/N-” Wonwoo started to explain before he turned to look at your limp figure.

“Y/N!” Wonwoo and Jihoon both yelled at the same time both running to your side.

[jinkisbelly]

Home - 8/?

Jongyu, omegaverse, angst-ish, rated m, w/c: 4.9k,

Summary: Jonghyun is Jinki’s home. Problem is, Jonghyun doesn’t remember that Jinki is also his anymore.

Part 1,   Part 2,   Part 3,  Part 4,  Part 5,   Part 6,  Part 7    Ao3   AFF

also warning: rimming

           Drying his hair slowly Jonghyun turned toward the door with a smile. “Hey, you.”

           Jinki grinned. “You’re getting better at pinpointing it’s me.”

           “You have a distinct scent.” As the man got closer, sitting on the bed beside him to kiss his cheek, Jonghyun finally noticed the bump on his forehead. Carefully he lifted his hand to brush his thumb around the reddened edge softly. “What happened?”

           “My Mum decided to stop by the house. I forgot there was a beam behind me and well,” He waved his hand in the vicinity of his forehead. “You see how that ended. Don’t worry I went to the Hut. I’m all clear.”

           “I was wondering where you were. It’s odd for you to miss dinner.”

           With a sigh, Jinki laid his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder, causing a bit of blush to color the younger man’s cheeks. “I’m sorry. I was a bit dizzy and didn’t want to risk it. We have enough problems to deal with without me getting a head injury too.”

           “Did you get something to eat?”

           “Yeah, Changmin half shoved something into my hands as soon as I stepped into the door.”

           “Good.” Intertwining their hands, Jonghyun asked, “How did the Mum visit go?”

           “Alright, I suppose. She says she wants to be apart of my life again, but I don’t want to force something.” Lifting his hand, Jinki gave a little smile, “How do you feel about having dinner with her and me next Thursday?”

           Jonghyun felt as if his stomach was in knots. He wanted to be apart of Jinki’s family and his journey to reconnect with his Mum, but it was just another part of his life he couldn’t remember. “I don’t want to make it weird because I can’t follow conversations with her or-”

           “I know she made you uncomfortable before, but I would like you to go and try. If you still feel uneasy and want to leave, we will immediately.”

           “Really?”

           Jinki pressed a slow kiss to his cheek. “A hundred percent.”

           “Alright. I’ll give it a go.”

           “Thank you.” He gave Jonghyun’s hand a soft squeeze before smiling. “How was your day Baby?”

           Being called Baby never seemed to get old.

------

           Jonghyun huffed as he let the fabric of his shirt fall around him for the fourth time that evening. Finding anything that fit was a miracle, let alone something that fits correctly. He could see Jinki sitting on the bed in the reflection of the mirror, leaning back on both his hands with a stupid grin on his face. “What?”

           “You look beautiful no matter what shirt you wear.”

           “Easy for you to say.” Jonghyun frowned at his reflection, fighting the urge to rip the shirt off and try something else. “Everything you own fits you.”

           There was a creak of the bed and before he knew it he felt Jinki’s hands running over his sides and belly, chin resting on his shoulder. “I apologize for impregnating you too well.”

           Jonghyun snorted, but still wiggled back against Jinki’s hold, warm and content. “Oh shut up.” “Made you laugh though.”

           “I guess I’m ready to go.” He giggled softly when Jinki kissed his neck.

           “Thanks again for coming tonight. It means a lot to me.”

           Jonghyun pulled away just enough to be able to twist and push up to kiss Jinki on the lips, smiling when the man took a moment to process the affection. “It’s the least I can do. Now, let’s not be late.”

------

           Jinki led him to their table with a hand on the small of his back, pulling out the chair for him before slipping into his beside him. The woman across from them was pretty in the way he could tell she was a looker when she was younger. There was a memory fuzzy in the back of his mind with the outline of her, but he let it fade knowing focusing too hard would give him a headache. Plus she was talking and maybe he should pay attention to that. Maybe. “I’m so glad you two could make it. I hope the walk here was alright.”

           “It’s not as cold as I expected it to be.” Jinki quietly commented before sipping on his water glass provided and casting a look over its rim at Jonghyun. Then his eyes were flicking back to his Mum. “Are you staying at the house?”

           “At the moment I’m at the inn. I tried, but it reminded me of your Ma.” She smiled briefly before reaching over to squeeze Jinki’s hand that was resting against the table. “It looks nice. I suppose you kept it up?”

           “I did.”

           “Why didn’t you move in there when the fire happened?”

           “I was, but I wanted Jonghyun to be somewhere and around people that he remembered. Minho was the only one he did and he has their childhood home.” Jinki hummed, “And it was hard for me to be too far away from him, them.”

           “How is the memory thing going, Jonghyun?”

           “Oh, uh.” Jonghyun moved his finger on the bottom of the cool glass of water, slightly surprised the conversation at shifted so quickly to him. “Unfortunately I don’t remember anything about Jinki still, not for lack of trying.”

           “That’s alright Sweets. Trying is the only thing that matters.” She leaned back in her chair before smiling softly over at him. “I do apologize for how uncomfortable I must have made you feel that day at the market. I didn’t know you had no clue who I was.”

           “It’s okay, but thank you. I can’t fault you for something you didn’t know.”

           “How are you feeling? Twins have to be almost surreal.”

           “I feel huge for one.” He grinned as she laughed, Jinki tucking his chin to his chest slightly with pink cheeks. “But I suspect it’s much like any other pregnancy I suppose. In the beginning, the nausea was horrible.”

           “With Jinki the nausea was really bad. The only thing that ever stopped it was peaches and peanut butter for some reason.” She paused to sip at the wine she had ordered. The glass wasn’t fully from her lips before she spoke again, asking, “Are you happy with my son, Jonghyun?”

           “Mum,” Jinki warned.

           Jonghyun reached under the table to squeeze the man’s right hand, smiling when his head whipped around to look at him. “I am. Our lives and relationship are different than I know Jinki expected this part of our story to be, but I am happy. I wish I remembered your son and the life he’s lived with me, but we’re handling the cards dealt to us the best we can.”

           The conversation paused as they focused on figuring out what they wanted to order. Halfway through Jinki leaned over to softly whisper into his ear. “Everything alright?”

           Jonghyun gently nodded, replying. “I’m having a good time.”

-----

           After making sure that his Mum made it into the inn safely, Jinki turned toward Jonghyun with a wicked grin. “Want to go on a date with me?”

           The smaller man scuffed. “What? When?”

           “Right now.” Their hands were intertwined, swinging slightly between them. “I have a little bit of time before I’m due for my night shift. I’ll even walk you home like the gentleman I am.”

           “Oh of course. You’re SUCH a gentleman.” Jinki just began walking, tugging him softly until he began to walk too. “Where is this date going to take place?”

           “You’ll see.”

           After a few steps, Jonghyun shyly asked, “Are there snacks?”

           Jinki grinned widely, “The most snacks.”

-----

           Turns out ‘the most snacks’ meant a cafe just around the corner that sold the sweets that the bakery next door didn’t sell before closing. As soon as they stepped up to the counter Jonghyun saw the one peach pastry sitting in the display. Before he could tell Jinki his order the man was already asking for the pastry, two chai lattes, and a brownie. When the worker left to get their order, Jinki looked over with a sweet smile. “What?”

           “What if I didn’t want the pastry?”

           “Did you want something else?”

           “No, but that’s-”

           “Things between us might be different than they were, but you will always be you. And I know you, Baby.” Jinki tugged him closer by an arm hooked around his waist, kissing his hair. Then the worker returned with their order and Jinki nodded his head with a smile. “Thank you.”

           They found a table near the window. The conversation was soft and about nothing seemingly important. The chill in the air and the hope for rain soon. A bit about Changmin’s extensive sock collection and Minho’s need for at least three scarves the moment it dropped below 80 degrees outside. But words were easy to come by, laugher free and beautiful between them, and Jinki looked beautiful in the warm light of the cafe. Jonghyun could feel himself falling a little deeper, the warmth in his heart growing with each passing minute and the desire to never let his time with Jinki end increase dramatically. He would never describe waking up pregnant and not remember anything in the last fifteen years as easy, but somehow thinking about Jinki and being around him made the word slip across his thoughts.

           Because it was easy. Jinki was easy to talk to, easy to trust and it was so easy to let himself slip deeper into his world and never want to leave. When Jinki walked him home and kissed him slowly on that front porch, hands on his hips and lips lingering in their movements, he knew. He wanted to stay. Jinki gave him one more peck and a bright smile. “Goodnight, Baby. Sweet dreams.”

           All Jonghyun could do as the man jogged off for his night shift was stand there on the dimly lit porch with his lips barely brushing his lips. He only turned when he heard Minho laughing behind him. “I want to stay.”

           “What? On this porch?”

           “No. With him. I don’t-” He giggled, happiness bubbling up into his chest as the decision set in his mind. “I knew I wanted to stay to be around my children, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be with him like that and… I’m sure.”

           “Are you falling in love, Jonghyun?”

           “I think I maybe.” He ran his fingers through his hair, warmth flooding to his cheeks. “I want to wear the pendant again.”

           “Than you should. Are you going to talk to him about it?”

           “Can’t I just wear it until he asks about it?”

           Minho softly whined, “Jonghyun.”

           “Fine fine I’ll talk to him about it.” Jonghyun shivered slightly, pouting. “Now can we go continue this conversation inside?”

           With his hands, raised Minho pushed from the doorframe, “Hey, I was just coming out to see why you were a statue on my porch.”

------

           A week later Jonghyun found himself sitting in a mostly finished house, lifting a bowl from the crate by his feet. The red gradient wave pattern along the sides intrigued him. “Where did you get these?”

           “When I decided I wanted to rebuild I put in an order in. They’re hand made by Hyoyeon and her mate Taeyeon.” Jinki’s fingers were warm when they brushed his, the bowl carefully took and put into the finished cabinets. “Their son wanted a playset, so in exchange, I built one for him.”

           “Where did you learn how to build things like this?”

           Jinki smiled softly, pausing in taking another bowl from him. “My Grandpa. He was one of the main builders who helped plan the main street back in the day, and ever since I was little I’d go on jobs with him to learn.”

           “Why didn’t you go the builder route?”

           “At the time there wasn’t space in the builder’s guild for another and I had to make a living doing something to be able to provide for you. Your fathers would never have allowed you to mate me if I couldn’t provide a good life for you.” Jinki put the bowl up into the cabinet and smiled widely, moving to dip his head and press a kiss to Jonghyun’s cheek. “But I like my job. I don’t regret it.”

           It was as he pulled away again that he froze, eyes widening and lips parting. Jonghyun reached out to grip his hand that was resting on the kitchen island. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

           His voice was almost breathless when he spoke, the other hand moving to gently lift the wooden pendant around Jonghyun’s neck between two fingers. “What do you mean by this necklace?”

           “Oh, I didn’t think you’d notice.”

           “You underestimate how observant I am of you, especially now. Have you been wearing it long?”

            “Just today. I know that I used to wear it all the time and I didn’t want to wear it at first because I thought it would hurt you somehow. I’m not exactly who you gave it to, but,” As he looked up his bottom lip was pulled through his teeth before he spoke seriously. “If you want me to take it off I will.”

           “It’s yours to decide what you do with Jonghyun. If you want to wear it, do so. I just… didn’t want to read too much into it.”

           The pendant fell softly against him as Jinki pulled back, but Jonghyun grasped the retreating hand with both of his making the older man look at him again. “That’s the thing. I knew what this pendant means to you and for a while, I didn’t know if I wanted that, but I know now. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you mean to me Jinki, what this life here means to me, and I guess the necklace was my subtle way of telling you that I want to stay.”

           “What?”

           “I know you’re worried I’ll leave you at the end of this and this is me saying I don’t want to. I want to be here with you. If I never remember what we had that’s alright. I just want the chance to make new memories with you and maybe... Fall in love with you all over again.”

           Jinki was quick to close the small space between them, pressing their lips together firmly. When he pulled away, he was grinning from ear to ear, eyes shining so bright as he breathed out, “Really?”

           “I want to be with you, Jinki.”

           Soft pecks were pressed on the tip of Jonghyun’s nose and then his forehead. “I’m so happy to hear that.”

           “I know it won’t be easy. There are so many things I know you’re going to miss from the old me and that you’re trying so hard to be comfortable giving me any type of affection. I’m basically dating you all over again when in a very short period of time we’re going to have to deal with two newborns, but I have faith in us… that we’ll make it.”

           “If anyone can get through it, it’s us, Baby.” When Jinki kissed him, his hands were light against his cheeks, as if feathers brushing against his skin. “Someone told me I needed to have more faith in us, and he was right.”

-----

           Seeing two pairs of shoes by the door wasn’t something Minho expected to see when he came home. Changmin was still at work and the other two inhabitants of their home were supposed to be setting up things at their own place. He kicked off his shoes, closed the door behind him and headed down the hall. A glance into the kitchen showed a few plates by the sink that weren’t there when he left that morning. It was when he took a few more steps down the main hallway and looked to his left that he found them.

           Jinki was fast asleep, nose pressed into Jonghyun’s hair, protective arm over him the best he could curl slightly toward him. He seemed to be acting as a body pillow if Minho was completely honest. Jonghyun was awake, but only barely so. His eyes were starting to flutter close until he noticed his younger brother, smiling with a soft, “Hey, Ming.”

           Sitting in the armchair, careful to keep his voice down and not wake Jinki, Minho softly stated. “I thought you two were setting up the house today.”

           “The kitchen is the only thing that’s fully done. The rest still has things to do.” Jonghyun hummed, cheek squished against Jinki. “And I kind of told him I wanted to be with him.”

           “I guess it went well.”

           Jonghyun shifted slightly as if trying to hide his face. “It did.”

           “I told you it would.” When his older brother stuck his tongue out at him, Minho got the message. “I’ll leave you two to nap. I’m just really happy for you Jonghyun.”

           As he was about to step out of the room Jonghyun softly said, “Thanks, you know for everything.”

           “Anytime, you know that.”

-------

           Jinki had been asleep beside him for quite some time now. Jonghyun had tried switching positions with some difficulty to no avail. The quilt was too hot. Hell, his skin was too hot. He felt sticky and uncomfortable. Of the things that Jonghyun remembered, being aroused was one of them. However, he wasn’t about to jack one off beside Jinki like some teenager. The doctor had told him when he was in the Hut after waking up side effects of pregnancy, and weird arousal was one he remembered. At the time, he figured it wouldn’t matter much. Well, he was wrong about many things.

           Getting closer to Jinki was both a relief and almost torture. Jonghyun figured his body remembered the man, be his touch or scent, from the years of doing sexually explicit things with him. He planned on ignoring it altogether and hoping it went away. Except, even after turning away from Jinki completely and moving as far away as he could and still be comfortable, he still felt uncomfortably hot. He groaned quietly, opening his eyes to stare across the room.

           Just went he had accepted that he wasn’t getting any good amount of sleep that night, he felt the bed move and a soft hand move over his waist, Jinki’s deep sleep induced voice asking, “Everything alright, Baby? Movin’ a lot.”

           “M’fine.”

           Jinki has his nose pressed into the back of his neck, front of his hips flush against his backside and Jonghyun bit his lip to stop himself from giving away how much he liked the warmth. “Then why are you so far away?”

           Jonghyun breathed in deeply, eyes fluttering slightly. “I feel a bit hot is all.”

           He could feel slight movement behind him and when Jinki spoke again his voice wasn’t coming from directly behind him. “Jonghyun, look at me for a minute.”

           “I just want to sleep is all.”

           “I can smell your arousal, Baby.” The words were simple enough, but they made Jonghyun bite his bottom lip a little harder than necessary. “Is that why you’re having a hard time sleeping?”

           “Possibly.”

           “Then let me fix it.”

           He looked over his shoulder, “What?”

           “I can make you feel better. You always sleep well after an orgasm.” Jinki’s hair was moused and messy with sleep, eyes half-open and a lopsided grin on his face, but damn he was beautiful. “Will you let me help?”

           “But we can’t... You know.”

           “Have sex?” Jinki supplied, fingers moving soothingly in a small circle on a bit of exposed skin on Jonghyun’s hip as he nodded. “I can please you in many ways, Baby. You just have to trust me.”

           They hadn’t done more than a bit of rough kissing a few times, but he did trust Jinki and it wasn’t like he hadn’t been thinking of what sex with Jinki would be like recently. “Okay.. please.”

-------

           He felt exposed and a little embarrassed sitting on the bed on all fours, ass bare and up for Jinki. He had gotten so big recently he could barely go onto his elbows without pressure being put on his stomach. “Jinki where-”

           “Relax,” Then he felt the man’s hands, warm and a little rough moving over his lower back. “We’ll stop at any point you want. Our safe word is tomato.”

           “Tomato... Alright.”

           “And make sure to bite that pillow under you.”

           “Why?”

           “You’re very loud, Baby.” Jinki seemed very sure of himself, the cocky shit. There was a faint comment behind him that he caught a bit of wet, and damn, but couldn’t bring himself to ask Jinki to repeat himself before the man was running a finger over his hole without warning.

           “Fuck.”

           “Better bite that pillow, Love.” Good thing he didn’t move to turn his head to look at Jinki then. A warm, wet tongue lapped against his twitching entrance, hands holding his ass apart. His already accelerated breathing hitched, fingers curling on the underside of the pillow as he pressed his forehead into it. Deep groans rumbled from his throat as Jinki continued to lick at his asshole, each movement causing tremors to travel up his body. It was nothing like Jonghyun imagined it would be, but so much better at the same time.

           He felt his cock twitch between his legs. When Jinki’s tongue stopped moving he whined, but a guttural noise came out as he slipped a finger inside of him easily with how wet he was. Jinki’s other hand curled around Jonghyun’s cock, giving him soft, slow strokes matching the way he was fingering him open. It was all new to Jonghyun, being this close to Jinki, feeling his hands and mouth on his body. As quick as Jinki had switched methods, his mouth was back to eating him out, tongue pushing in him slightly.

           It felt so unbelievably good as he rocked against Jinki’s face slightly, moaning loudly as his cock was stroked once more. Just like a switch, he felt the tight coil in his tummy and he was cumming in spurts against his belly, Jinki’s hand, and the sheets. Jinki continued to please him through it all until finally, he helped him lay down on his side, spent. “Hey, hey Baby don’t fall asleep yet, I have to clean you up.”

           “Mmm, but sleepy.”

           “Alright,” He felt a soft kiss pressed to his forehead and then the curve of his stomach. “Goodnight, Jonghyun.”

           He wasn’t sure if he said it back, for sleep tugged him under almost immediately.

-----

           In the morning Jinki woke up to Jonghyun’s back pressed against his, barely staying on the bed with maybe a few inches of the bed between him and the edge. Slowly he turned, pushing his nose into the smaller man’s hair and letting an arm lay over his waist, hand flat on the curve of his belly. Jonghyun’s sweet, warm voice softly greeted him. “Good morning.”

           “Did you sleep well?”

           “I did. Tanks.”

           Jinki hummed, smiling as one of the babies pushed against his fingers on Jonghyun’s stomach. “You are alright with what we did last night, right?”

           “Yeah.” A pause before Jonghyun quietly asked, “Do you regret it?”

           Out of instinct Jinki held him tighter, “Never. I just- wanted to make sure. You fell asleep before I could ask last night.”

           Jonghyun managed to curl their fingers together slightly on his tummy, “I liked it a lot and while a bit embarrassing at first… I like being with you that way. I’m sorry I kind of left you hanging.”

           “Don’t worry about me, Baby. Pleasing you is all I need.” Jonghyun hummed, listening to the way the birds were softly chirping outside. After a few moments, he mumbled something too quietly to catch. “What was that?”

           “I said I’d like to do it again… Some time.”

           Jinki chuckled, kissing the back of Jonghyun’s neck. “I think we can arrange that, Baby.”

-----

           Jonghyun kicked off his shoes by the door, stepping further into the finished house with curious eyes. The last time he had seen the inside was a month prior when he was helping Jinki put dishes into the kitchen cabinets. Since then, the house had been fitted with furniture, the fireplace finished being bricked completely, and the upstairs had finished floors. He turned when he heard soft laughter behind him. “It’s yours too. Have a look around.”

           “Oh, heh.” Moving was getting more difficult the further along the pregnancy progressed, but Jonghyun would fight anyone telling him to sit down until he physically couldn’t anymore. Walking past the kitchen island he glanced back at Jinki, “It still doesn’t… feel like mine.”

           Maybe that was the wrong thing to say as Jinki’s smile immediately fell. “I know, but I’ve always viewed it as ours. I rebuilt for you. I know you don’t remember what it looked like before, but you spent so much time making this your home. I did my best to replicate it.”

           “I’m sorry I didn’t-”

           “You don’t have to apologize, Jonghyun. I just hope you like it.”

           As Jinki stepped in line with him, Jonghyun hooked his left arm around the man’s, leaning his head on his shoulder for a moment. “Why don’t you give me a tour?”

           “I don’t know if I can keep up with your waddling.”

           Jonghyun knew Jinki was joking by the lightness of his voice tone, but he still glared over at him. “You made me this way.”

           “I did.”

           “Don’t look so proud.”

           Jinki leaned over to press a kiss to Jonghyun’s temple, lingering there for a moment before they began to walk further into the house. “But I am.”

           He needed to stop being charming, or Jonghyun was never making it through this house tour.

-----

           As they stepped down onto the main floor Jinki followed Jonghyun’s arm to see where he was pointing. “What’s that room for?”

           “Oh.” He swallowed thickly, mouth suddenly way too dry. He slipped his arm from Jonghyun’s to walk over and push the door open. “It’s another bedroom.”

           Jinki leaned against the doorframe, eyes following Jonghyun as he moved around the room. Fingers brushing against the top of the long dresser, stopping to smell the flowers in the vase set upon it, and running his hand over the soft fabric of the bed’s quilt before sitting up against the pillows with a heavy breath. “Where does that door lead to?”

           “The one to your left is a closet. That one by the desk leads to the boys’ room.”

           As Jonghyun’s eyes finally moved to meet his own, he looked away. “What is this room for, Jinki?”

           “It’s for you.”

           “For me?”

           With a deep sigh, he lifted his gaze and pushed his hair out of his face. “In case that at the end of this you decide that you no longer want to stay and be with me, but still want to be apart of your children’s lives.”

           “I thought we discussed this.” Jonghyun’s bottom lip began to tremble. “Why are you so adamant about me leaving?”

           In a few quick steps, Jinki was sliding his leg up on the mattress, taking Jonghyun’s face between his hands as the first few tears fell. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, Jonghyun.”

           “I told you in that kitchen that I wanted to be here with you, not just for the twins. I thought you believed me when I said that and you just- planned this the entire time! Do you expect me to leave you after everything?”

           “It’s a possibility.” He moved his thumbs softly over Jonghyun’s cheeks, frowning deeply. “You have so many opportunities, Love. You don’t remember me or how you love me. It’s hard for you to be with me, I know that. I just didn’t want you to feel you had to stay with me to be around your children. I couldn’t handle that.”

           “You’re wrong.” Jonghyun softly admits, eyes falling to his lap. “Not about me not remembering the life we made together or how I loved you. But it’s so easy to talk to you, to feel safe around you and to picture a life with you. You bring comfort I can’t get anywhere else.”

           Jinki let his hands fall from the man’s face, trying his hardest to keep his emotions in check. He didn’t need to overwhelm Jonghyun with his too. “Thank you for telling me that.”

           “And, while I’m sure it’s different than before,” Jonghyun flashes a little smile as he curls their hands together, catching Jinki’s gaze. “I’ve fallen in love with you. I love you, Jinki and I don’t want to leave you.”

           He opens his lips, fully wanting to say anything, but he closes them soon after. Like a damn broken he feels the tears welling up in his eyes. He never thought he’d hear Jonghyun say those three little words to him again. Finally, he manages to form, “What?”

           “I love you.” Jonghyun softly laughs, moving both hands up to wipe Jinki’s cheeks. “I’ll say it as many times as I need to until you believe me.” Each time that Jonghyun repeated himself he gave Jinki a soft kiss until finally the older man laughed and deepened the kiss.

           “I love you too, Baby.”

           It was then they heard raindrops pelting the roof of the house, splattering against the windows, and the wind whistling against the walls. The drought had ended.

------

[mszegedy]

30 Days of Autism Acceptance 2020: Days 1-10

This is a list of questions by @autie-jake (full list here), where you’re supposed to answer one per day for every day of April. I learned about it a few days into April and intended to start doing it but I forgot, I guess, or maybe decided against it. But I wanna do it now, so here’s the first ten days really quick.

April 1: Introduce yourself. Talk about who you are as a person.

This is kind of a hard question for me. I think my younger sister (by 3¾ years) would say this, if she just made a new friend the same age as her and she asked about me:

“Well, she goes to college, but she’s graduating this semester. She does something with proteins, but honestly she should really be a linguist. I actually really hate discussing linguistics with her, because she gets so annoying and overbearing about it. I don’t understand why she’s doing whatever she is. She’s a pretty weird person. She has all sorts of problems with, like, depression and amnesia and stuff. Oh, but, she’s trans, so, like, that’s a thing, yeah. I don’t like talking about most things with her because she thinks she’s always right. And also, she’s kind of mean to our mom. I don’t know why she does that. But at the same time she’s, like, really sensitive, and will be offended by the stupidest things. Okay, this is making it sound like I don’t like her, but I do, okay? She’s my sister, of course I love her. We’ve bonded a lot. She’s moving to DC in October, so we’ll be able to hang out during the school year, and that’ll be really fun. I think I’m just a little fed up with her right now from having to live with her for a whole month.“

April 2: Post your red instead selfie today! Alternatively, you could talk about why you choose to go redinstead and what it means to you.

I don’t know what “redinstead” is. I googled it and it sounds like you wear differently-themed stuff from what’s recommended by Autism Speaks, to dunk on them. Like a lot of people, I’m stuck inside this April, so there’s no point in me wearing pride clothing, because nobody will see it. But I do disapprove of Autism Speaks, because they don’t treat autistic people like people, and they try to spread that ideology. If you trick them into thinking you’re a person first, they won’t change their mind; instead, they’ll say you’re not autistic. People defend them by recounting the problems that nonverbal autistic people face, as though nonverbal autistic people have an inherently worse neurotype than everyone else, and not just one that’s more difficult to accomodate for society, and as though that justifies the abuses levied against them by Autism Speaks. I could go into details, but I won’t, because it would be emotionally draining for me as a writer, and you as a reader.

Suffice to say, I love being autistic. It has inspired a lot of people to treat me very badly, and probably led to a degree of abuse and neglect in my childhood that resulted in dissociative identity disorder. But all of my autistic traits are things that I love about myself. I like how emotionally expressive my stims make me. I like how I’ve learned to dissect a lot of social stuff and I can explain it. I like how I can just dispense with all of that social stuff around autistic people. Hell, I think it gives the neurotypical people I hang out with some relief, too, when I’m straightforward and explicit all the time. I like how good I am at linguistics, and how I can use it as a way to relate to the world.

April 3: Talk about special interests. Do you have any? What are they? How long have you had them? What does it feel like to have special interests? What does having special interests mean to you? Talk about your past special interests

My special interests are unusually slow burns. I’ve had linguistics-related special interests for the past ten years. They’re peripherally useful for language learning, but mostly I’ve just accumulated academic knowledge. They’ve, however, also led me to reconnect with my Ugric heritage culture, which is very important to me. (It wouldn’t be important to me if language weren’t my primary way of relating to the world; paradox?)

I have a wide variety of other interests, but few of them are really “special”. As a kid, my special interest was marine life. Unfortunately, I haven’t retained much of that, although I do have the privilege of having a diver’s license, which I’ll use again someday when I pass better naked. I also briefly had a special interest in… building computers, or something. I didn’t have the money to make anything particularly powerful (not that I had anything at the time to use computational power for), but I did run some workshops for middle-schoolers.

I think maybe my interest as a kid in Homestuck was special? It ran pretty deep, anyway. It’s hard to say, when you can’t remember most of your life.

April 4: Do you consider your autism to be an important part of your identity?

Because we have DID (or something like it), we don’t have an identity in the traditional sense. We do have a system identity, but that’s built around our mutual goals and guidelines. However, we’d be very sad to lose our autistic traits. Also, it might mess with the standard of consistency we’ve established for ourselves; we might not be able to predict our future actions, because losing our autistic traits may interfere with our ability to follow the aforementioned goals and guidelines, which are what help keep us focused and consistent.

April 5: Talk about your living situation. Do you live with your parents? Do you live on your own? Have roommates? Etc. If you live on your own how hard was it to get used to?

Right now, I’m quarantining with my mom, my sister, and my brother (who is actually my sister’s boyfriend), at my mom’s house. The mess that’s accumulating in the house is slowly causing my mom more and more stress, I think. I’ve never really lived on my own. For a lot of college, I lived with roommates or housemates, but I don’t think I was very good at that. Also, my mom lived nearby, and I stayed at her place on the weekends. The closest I’ve come to living on my own is watching my mom’s house for up to a few weeks at a time, and that wasn’t sustainable. (To be fair, what kind of house has a lawn? When I get a house with a lawn in the future, I will make sure that it’s a wild lawn that I don’t have to mow.)

The third to last time that I house-sitted for my mom, I ended up getting hospitalized for self-harm. It took her a while to let me do it again after that. Although, not a very long while, I guess. That was at the end of last September.

April 6: Are you able to drive? If you can, was it hard for you to learn? If not, what alternatives do you use, if any

I’m not able to drive. Driving is scary and difficult for me. I went through the motions of learning it in high school, but my track was interrupted by a move across state lines (I lived in the US at the time), and I never recovered. I’ve failed the NJ written driver’s exam, which grants you a one-year permit with restrictions, a total of roughly ten times. I’ve never been this bad at a subject; it’s like I have the opposite of a special interest in driving. A special lack-of-interest. My brain won’t retain any information about NJ driving laws whatsoever. It doesn’t help that I had a traumatic car crash when I was very young.

So far, I’ve just gotten my mom and coworkers to drive me places, or taken Ubers or trains. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that if I leave NJ, I’ll probably have to get a driver’s license. Although, I’ve already got a carpool set up at my next job in October.

April 7: Talk about autism in the media. Do you think that autism is typically portayed well? Badly? Is there anything you’d like to see more of when it comes to autistic representation? Who are your favorite autistic characters? Do you have any headcanons?

The media that I consume doesn’t really have autistic characters, so I can’t comment on how autistic people are portrayed, except that I’d like us to be portrayed more, period. I’ve only really seen us in teen dramas. To be fair, one of my favorite webcomics, El Goonish Shive, is a teen drama, and has a great autistic character (Susan). I’d say I identify with her, but not really. It’s very hard for me to identify with people, fictional or nonfictional, because my neurotype is greatly influenced by autism, DID, chronic depression, and gender dysphoria, and you don’t see combinations of traits in media that come even close to that.

Speaking of another teen drama, I wish I were half as cool as Matilda from Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. I guess that makes her my favorite canon autistic character, but that’s pretty easy, because I don’t know any other ones. I can’t say that I wanna hug her, because she doesn’t like that, but her general substitute for hugs is dancing, and I can’t dance. I guess I’d learn how, to show my appreciation for her.

Archer from Archer is probably autistic. I like him a lot.

April 8: What are some misconceptions/stereotypes about autism that you hate?

“Hating” is not something I can really do, even when it’s recommended to do it. I haven’t been open about my autism, so I haven’t been exposed to too many misconceptions or stereotypes about it firsthand, anyway. I guess if I had to pick, it would be whatever made my dad call me autistic as an insult and use a bunch of ableist slurs at me a whole lot. I don’t know how he understands autism, however. He doesn’t seem to realize that he has it himself. (It’s not usually one’s place to diagnose other people like that, but one of the most degrading things that my mom says to me very often is that I’m exactly like my father. He even has some traits that I don’t, like touch-aversion and samefoods.)

April 9: How sensitive are you when it comes to touch? Are you pro hug or anti hug?

I’m hyposensitive. I’m really losing it here under this quarantine. I had a girlfriend who always made me feel so respected whenever she responded to my touch-based needs, by squeezing me, hugging me, or otherwise cuddling me very tight, but then she broke up with me because of my mental health issues, and because her parents hated me and her friends were made very uncomfortable by me.

April 10: Do you have trouble understanding when someone is being sarcastic or joking?

It depends. I think I’m as good at it as I’ll ever be, and my false negative rate is under 0.5 (and my false positive rate is very low, but not 0). But I don’t think the same thing goes on in my head as in neurotypical people’s heads when I determine something to be a joke. I almost explicitly do a Bayesian calculation; “Based on what I know about this person and this context, how well can I imagine them meaning this statement unironically in this context? How well can I imagine them meaning this statement ironically in this context?” It’s pretty automatic now, but sometimes it doesn’t work very well, when I’m not so familiar with the person and/or the context, and occasionally the intended interpretation of the statement.

[splendidlyimperfect]

It's been thirteen years since Natsu and Gray met in a program for troubled youth - since they both fell apart and helped put each other back together. Now they're married and happy, loving each other and the shared family they found.

But the past doesn't always stay past, and when the things that broke them come back into their lives, Natsu and Gray have difficult decisions to make - ones that could change their lives forever.

Chapter Summary:  As they continue their road trip, Natsu tries to work through the mess of feelings he has about his father. Chapters (2/?): 1 | 2

Rating: Mature Relationships: Natsu/Gray, Rogue/Sting, Laxus/Freed Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aged-Up Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Married Couple, Established Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Drug Addiction, Mental Health Issues, Foster Care, Family Issues, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, Grief/Mourning, Childhood Trauma, it's not as sad as it sounds, but they're so in love with each other, Bipolar Disorder, Adoption, Families of Choice, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character, Genderfluid Character, Forgiveness, well sometimes it is, lots of bonding moments, Natsu is a fantastic uncle and amazing with kids Series: Part 14 of the only hope for me is you, Part 3 of if you jump i'll break your fall

When Gray woke up the next morning, Natsu wasn’t there.

Gray pushed himself up on his elbows, yawning and rubbing his face before looking around the tiny hotel room. The curtains were still drawn, but a thin ray of sunlight had made its way through and illuminated a line along the floor.  

“Natsu?” Gray called, sitting up and shoving away the blankets. He frowned and glanced at the clock – 7:46 a.m. Natsu never willingly got up this early. Gray looked over to the front door and felt a spike of panic when he saw that Natsu’s shoes and jacket were gone.

Gray stood up, grabbing his phone from the bedside table and swiping it open, but the only messages were a text from Sylvie, and a handful of e-mails from work. He tossed the phone back down on the bed and quickly checked the bathroom.

A cold, uncomfortable feeling crept through his stomach, and Gray forced himself to breathe. Even after nearly fourteen years, the memory of finding Natsu bleeding to death was the first thing that popped into Gray’s head when Natsu wasn’t well. Gray quickly rummaged through the toiletries bag in the bathroom for Natsu’s pill container, and was relieved to see that he hadn’t missed any of his meds.

Gray sighed, rubbing his face and sitting down on the end of the bed. He was about to call Natsu when the door to the hotel room creaked open.

Natsu stood in the doorway, balancing two cups of coffee in one hand. When he saw Gray, his face broke into a smile, and he set down the coffee on the table.

Continue reading on AO3

“What’re you doing up so early?” Gray asked, standing up and pulling Natsu into a hug. Natsu hummed happily, wrapping his arms around Gray’s waist. “You okay?”

“Mhmm.” Natsu let Gray hold him tightly for a minute, then pulled back and gave Gray a quick kiss. “I’ll have you know that my ridiculous husband doesn’t think that 7:45 am is early.”

“I see.” Gray relaxed a little, brushing Natsu’s hair out of his eyes and looking out the door. The sun was already up, burning away the wisps of fog that drifted down from the mountains and casting a pale, yellow light over the parking lot.

“What’s up, Snowflake?” Natsu asked, slipping his hands under Gray’s shirt and rubbing his thumbs over Gray’s hips.

“Just wanna make sure you’re okay,” Gray said. Natsu smiled, shaking his head and pulling Gray in close while he kicked the door shut. He trailed his fingers up Gray’s back, leaning in and kissing him again.

“I’m fine,” he reassured Gray, nudging him backward against the bed until Gray’s knees hit the edge and he sat down. “Sorry for worrying you.” He pushed Gray further back onto the bed, moving up until he was sitting between Gray’s legs and leaning over him.

Gray hesitated, searching Natsu’s face for some kind of sign that he wasn’t as okay as he was putting on. His eyes were a little brighter than usual, and there was a hint of sadness behind his smile. Gray ran his thumb over Natsu’s cheek, then pulled him down for a kiss.

“You don’t have to be okay,” he murmured against Natsu’s lips. Natsu froze for a second, arms tense on either side of Gray’s head, then laughed and pressed their foreheads together.

“I know,” he said, rubbing his nose against Gray’s. “And I wasn’t yesterday – it was a lot. I’m better today, though. Promise.”

Gray knew that Nastu wasn’t telling the whole truth, but he trusted Natsu to know what he needed. He let himself relax into the mattress as Natsu kissed him harder, biting Gray’s lip gently, and then running his tongue along it. Natsu tasted like strawberry lipgloss and coffee, familiar and safe.

“Touch me,” Natsu whispered, grabbing Gray’s hand and guiding it up to his waist. Gray slipped his fingers under Natsu’s jeans to feel the lace of his underwear and he groaned, pressing his hips up and grinding against Natsu.

Natsu let out a soft sound of surprise as Gray grabbed him and flipped them over until he was straddling Natsu’s hips. He tugged the elastic out of Natsu’s hair, wrapping it around his wrist, then combed his fingers through Natsu’s hair until it spread out around his head like a pink halo.

“Can I call you pretty today?” Gray asked, rocking forward and enjoying the soft sounds that slipped from Natsu’s lips. Natsu nodded, gripping Gray’s thighs and looking up at him with wide eyes. Gray leaned down, running his hands up Natsu’s arms until he had him by the wrists, pinned to the bed.

“Hnn, w-wanna—”

“Shush,” Gray said, kissing Natsu again, hot and needy. “You’re gorgeous and I wanna touch you everywhere.”

Natsu sighed happily when Gray’s lips moved to his neck, running over the sensitive scar and then moving over to the other side.

“W-we don’t have to check out until eleven,” Natsu groaned, rocking up against Gray. Gray moved down to bite Natsu’s nipple through his shirt and Natsu gasped, tugging at Gray’s grip on his wrists.

“Good,” Gray said, running his thumbs over Natsu’s palms and looking up at him through a dark curtain of hair. “Then I’m gonna take my time with you.”

~*~*~

The rest of the trip took almost four days. Gray drove most of the way, leaving Natsu to make up music playlists and watch the scenery change from mountains to prairies to forests as they made their way east.

Natsu hadn’t been lying when he’d told Gray he was okay, but the run-in with Wendy still lingered in the back of his mind. Every once in a while, a flash of guilt or sudden anger washed over him, but the farther away they got, the better Natsu felt.

Then, on their last day on the road, Natsu got a text from Wendy. Hey, if you decide you want to try to find your dad, this is the place I used. Good luck.

Underneath there was a company name – Reunion and Reconnection – as well as a phone number and an e-mail address.

Natsu’s stomach clenched as all the anxiety that had been fading from him returned full force, crawling up his arms and making him feel dizzy. He stared at the message, thumb hovering hesitantly over the link.

“Hey, are you sure you’re—”

Gray’s voice caught him off guard, and Natsu jumped, dropping his phone into the footwell of the car.  

“Snowflake, if you ask me if I’m okay one more time, I’m gonna make you listen to One Direction for the rest of this trip.”

Natsu kept his voice light, laughing at the disgruntled look on Gray’s face before picking up the phone and shoving it into his jacket pocket. Gray reached over, taking Natsu’s hand and squeezing gently before looking back the road.

“I’m not going to change my mind,” Natsu insisted, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach. “Just ‘cause Wendy found her mom doesn’t mean I should look for him. He left, and I don’t need him.” He tried not to let his bitterness show, and forced a smile for Gray. “I’ve got you.”

Gray nodded and slipped his fingers between Natsu’s before looking back at the road. Natsu leaned his head against the window, staring out past the trees while he attempted to sort through the tangle of feelings in his head.

They reached grand-maman and grand-papa’s house by early evening. Natsu could see everyone else’s cars parked along the road, and an uneasy feeling washed over him as they approached the front door.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing Gray’s hand and pulling him close. “Can we not say anything about Wendy?” Gray raised an eyebrow and Natsu sighed. “I don’t wanna talk about it. Please?”

Natsu adored Gray’s family and how quickly they’d taken him in, but big gatherings like this sometimes reopened the wound of Natsu’s own absent parents. Usually it was a dull ache that he was able to ignore, but right now it was a sharp, burning sting that made him want to run.

“Of course,” Gray said, giving Natsu a quick kiss before reaching for the door. “You ready?”

The next few minutes were a whirlwind of hugs, kisses and pinched cheeks. Ultear had arranged the party for grand-papa’s ninety-fifth birthday, and the house was packed with people that Natsu didn’t know. He managed to make it through the crowd to see grand-papa, who was settled on the couch next to Félix and wearing a birthday hat.

“Quel beau chapeau!” Natsu said, crouching down beside the couch and taking grand-papa’s hand. “Bonne fête! T’es un vieil homme, huh?”

“Watch who you’re calling old,” grand-papa replied in French, smiling and kissing Natsu on the cheek. Grand-papa’s skin felt like tissue paper under Natsu’s fingers, and for some reason it made Natsu feel like crying.

“I think you’re probably the oldest one here,” Natsu teased, forcing himself to smile. “Pretty soon you’ll be a hundred.”

Grand-papa laughed, patting Natsu’s arm.

“Ça va?” Natsu asked, turning to Félix. “You happy to be done grade eight?”

Natsu managed to make it nearly an hour into the party before the itch under his skin was too much. He found his way to the balcony door and slipped outside, closing it behind him and turning to see Sylvie leaning on the railing, looking out over the city.

“Your mom had better not see you drinking that,” Natsu teased, leaning onto the railing next to Sylvie and gesturing to the cooler in her hand. “You’re not eighteen yet.”

Sylvie rolled her eyes. “Like you didn’t drink before you were eighteen,” she said, nudging his arm.

“Fair point,” Natsu said. He stared out across the river, watching the street lamps flicker on as the sun fell behind the horizon. The sound of the party behind them was muffled through the screen door, but Natsu could hear Renaud trying to explain his newest video game to grand-maman.

“You okay?” Sylvie asked. Natsu turned to look at her – she'd changed her hair since the last time he’d seen her, and now it was a wild, messy pink-and-purple mohawk. “Uncle Natsu? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said automatically, playing with his wedding band. Sylvie kicked his ankle and he frowned at her.

“Liar,” she said. “You’re being weird.”

“Your face is weird,” Natsu said, sticking out his tongue at her, and Sylvie snorted. Natsu shrugged. “Nah, I’ve just been thinking a lot.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Sylvie said, and Natsu laughed, turning around and leaning against the railing.

“No picking on me,” he said, “Uncle Gray does that enough already.” Sylvie snorted, taking another sip of her drink. With her pierced eyebrow and black nail polish and wild hair, she reminded Natsu of himself so much that it hurt.

“I ran into my sister the other day,” he said. Sylvie looked at him, confused. “Foster sister,” Natsu clarified. “We spent a few years together in a home, I hadn’t seen her since… well, before you were born. It was a bit weird.”

Natsu dropped his gaze to the scuffed toes of his shoes, but he could feel Sylvie studying him. He felt raw and electric, like he was kindling and the slightest spark would burn him alive.

“It must have sucked,” Sylvie said after a minute. Natsu looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. “Growing up without your parents? I dunno, mom’s always on my case and dad’s so fucking embarrassing like, all the time, but...” She trailed off, tipping the cooler between her hands.

“Yeah,” Natsu said. “It sucked.”

“Are your parents dead?” Sylvie asked. “You never talk about them.”

Natsu laughed, tipping his head back and looking up at the sky. Sometimes Sylvie’s bluntness was refreshing. “My mom’s dead, I think,” he said. “Dunno about my dad, though. He might still be around.”

Sylvie was quiet for a minute, then asked, “are you thinking about finding him?”

Natsu looked over at Sylvie again in surprise. She was giving him the same stubborn look she always gave him when she asked him hard questions. The two of them had been close ever since she’d climbed onto his lap at three years old and asked him to read to her. Natsu always tried to be honest with her – especially now that she was older – but he didn’t often talk about his family.

“Sorta,” he admitted after a while. “Maybe. I dunno.”

“Why didn’t you want to find him before?”

Natsu laughed, rubbing his face. “You’re not pulling any punches, huh?”

Sylvie shrugged. “Small talk’s boring.”

Natsu couldn’t argue with that. He ran his hands through his hair, tying it back in a ponytail while he figured out what to say.

“I never looked for him because he left me when I was really little,” Natsu said eventually. “And he made that choice, and it really hurt. I’m not sure I want to meet him. I dunno if I wanna find out why he didn’t stay.”

“He sounds like an asshole,” Sylvie said, nudging Natsu until she was tucked under his arm. He laughed, kissing the top of her head.

“You’d better not talk like that around your mom,” he said, “or I’m gonna get in trouble for being a bad influence again.”

Sylvie hummed in agreement, finishing off her drink and leaning back against Natsu. It suddenly hit Natsu that Sylvie was the same age now as he’d been when he’d met Gray – when he’d tried to kill himself. An ache pressed heavily on his chest and he hugged her tighter.

“Well,” Sylvie said, “if you do find him and he’s a dick, you’ve still got us.” She reached out to touch the leather bracelet around Natsu’s wrist that she’d made for him at an art camp years ago. “You’re my family.”

“I know,” Natsu said softly. “Thank you.”

Sylvie rested her head on Natsu’s shoulder and they stood for long time under the stars, watching the moon move across the sky.

~*~*~

They didn’t get back to the hotel until nearly two in the morning, and Gray immediately flopped face-first onto the bed, grumbling when Natsu tugged off his jeans and nudged him under the covers. Natsu settled in next to him, sitting against the headboard and running his fingers through Gray’s hair.

Everything was a mess. Natsu’s heart felt tangled, pulled in different directions, and none of it made any sense. He had everything he needed – a job, a husband who was patient with him, friends, and too many nieces and nephews to count. He already had a family.

But a memory kept playing in his mind, over and over, and Natsu couldn’t make it go away.

“I’m sorry.” Natsu’s dad – Neelan – sat on the swing set next to him at the park, kicking up sand and staring at the holes in his shoes. Natsu frowned.

“Why?” he asked. The park was mostly empty - it was still early March and there was a fine layer of snow on the playground equipment.

“I’m not gonna be here for your birthday,” Neelan said sadly. Natsu didn’t say anything, just frowned and kicked his legs to make the swing move faster.

“You promised,” he said, disappointment souring the sticky sweet taste of ice cream on his tongue. “You said we’d go to a movie.”

“I know, bud,” Neelan said. He picked at his thumbnail and looked up at the sky.

“Where are you going?” Natsu asked. He pulled his hands into his too-big coat and wrapped the sleeves around the chains of the swing to keep his fingers from freezing.

Neelan didn’t say anything, just stood up and waved to the social worker, who was making her way around the outskirt of the park. Natsu scowled at her.

“I don’t wanna go back,” he said, jumping off the swing and throwing himself at his dad. He wrapped his arms around Neelan’s waist and shook his head. “I wanna come home with you, Dad. Please.”

Neelan sighed, disentangling himself from Natsu’s grip and crouching down in front of him. Natsu wiped at his face angrily and tried to pull away. The kids at school all made fun of him for crying too much, but he couldn’t stop.

“You’re strong,” Neelan said, brushing Natsu’s messy hair out of his eyes. “And you’re gonna be a good person, okay? Better than me.”

“Please, Daddy,” Natsu whispered. He knew he was too old to be calling his father that, but right now he felt little and small and scared. “You promised.”  

“I’m so sorry, Natsu,” Neelan said, pressing a kiss to Natsu’s forehead. “I just… I can’t do this. I hope one day you'll understand.”

The disappointment and confusion in Natsu’s chest turned to anger and he growled, shoving his dad away from him.

“You’re stupid!” he shouted, kicking at the sand. “You promised and you’re stupid and I hate you!”

That had been the last time Natsu had seen his dad. He’d run away and been found an hour later by the social worker at the steps of his old house, and when she’d taken him back to the home, Natsu hadn’t argued. The next time his dad was scheduled to visit, he didn't show up, and Natsu had tried his best to pretend it didn’t hurt.

Natsu sighed, looking down at his phone and opening up his texts. The message from Wendy was still there, waiting for him.

He looked at Gray, who had rolled over and was now sprawled on his back in the middle of the bed. The moon glinted off his ring, and Natsu thought of his wedding vows.

“I never had a family before you. I never had a home. Now you are my family. You are my home. It doesn’t matter where we are - when I’m with you, I’m where I belong.”

Natsu swallowed down the lump that had appeared in his throat, then looked back at his phone. He sighed, closing the text and tossing his phone onto the bedside table. Then he settled down next to Gray, who mumbled something in his sleep and turned to wrap himself around Natsu. Natsu closed his eyes, curling up tightly in the circle of Gray’s arms and letting himself fall asleep.

[enchantedisabella]

Lyra Clairière Pt 2

‘You invited them over for dinner?!’ Hermione half-shrieked, clasping a hand over her mouth. She felt extremely nervous and dreaded what her mother had to say for herself.

‘Didn’t you and Lyra use to be best friends in the day, darling? We all thought you two were conjoined at the hip,’ her mother replied calmly, turning over the paper. ‘I think it will be a marvellous opportunity for you to reconnect with some of your childhood friends. They can’t all be wizards, you know.’

‘Or witches,’ responded Hermione reflexively. Sexism was still a prevailant thing that ran rampant among the magical world and Hermione was constantly irked at how much more restricting the world was for witches, so she’d taken to correcting people on even the littlest things like saying wizards and not witches. She just wished there was a gender neutral term for the two.

‘You know what I mean,’ said her mother, yawning. ‘Now, why don’t you go out for a little while and get some fresh air? It’s bound to do you at least some good instead of you looking pale as a ghost.’

‘It’s the middle of winter,’ Hermione protested, but she tried, she really did, to grasp the door handle after she had donned her coat and everything, but no matter how hard she forced herself to open the door, she just couldn’t do it.

It had been like this ever since she got home. All Hermione wanted to do was snuggle up swathed in warm blankets with a few hot water bottles. She could have just used magic to make her room hotter- and she longed to, for she missed the euphoria of unlocking magic beneath her fingertips so very much- but she knew that it wouldn’t be good for her so soon after the war. Harry, too, had taken the same approach to magic, and was now quietly travelling to places where he knew no one would recognise him. It was much harder for Ron, who had grown up with magic and wouldn’t sacrifice it for anything, but even he flinched a little when he muttered certain spells and trembled whenever he had to raise his wand.

For it seemed that the magic had gone out of their lives, and it took all the joy they once had using it with it.

Hermione’s hand faltered, and just like all the days before, she turned away from the door.

-

‘Won’t you help us set the plates, then?’ Hermione’s father asked genially.

Hermione’s breath stopped. The arrangement of china and silverware was set out in a most extraordinarily beautiful pattern. She suspected that it had been a while since her parents had guests over to pamper. Maybe they were all just looking for a distraction tonight.

Hermione nodded and took out the glassware, carefully arranging them to fit the theme.

The doorbell rang.

Her hands stopped.

And shook.

The door was opened.

Chestnut curls with hints of caramel entered the room, framed across sharp features and high cheekbones and a razor sharp jaw. Molten bronze eyes were creased the same way as the cherry mouth which was supposed to resemble a smile, but didn’t quite make it.

And oh so suddenly, those bronze eyes flitted to her direction. And widened, ever so slightly, before assuming that reserved look about them once more. Cherry lips parted, and halted, and then said nothing.

-

Lyra Clairière was, for once in her life, at a loss for words. She was seeing her childhood best friend whom she hadn’t had any contact with in over seven years. She still remembered, crystal-clear, that fateful night that their friendship had ended. It was surprisingly cold for August, and the breeze had made her shiver. Hermione had walked home alone. Lyra had stared at her bushy hair retreating from her window and wondered what on Earth she’d done.

Her lips tried to part open to say something, anything, but she didn’t have the words. So much had changed about Hermione. Her signature long, bushy hair and large front teeth were gone, replaced by soft curls and even teeth. She looked... somehow, battle-hardened and war-torn. As if she had been fighting for something she couldn’t afford to lose.

The Grangers and the Clairières sat down to dinner awkwardly. Hermione’s father offered her parents some mashed potatoes and they accepted gratefully, her father mentioning he was famished.

‘Hermione, darling, how have you been?’ her mother exclaimed. ‘I remember you used to come over all the time before you went to boarding school- our guests practically assumed you lived there!’

‘I’ve been... well enough,’ Hermione said, but Lyra could tell she was lying through her teeth. Hermione spooned a heap of mashed potatoes into her mouth to avoid talking. ‘Um, how have you been?’

‘Oh, we’ve been well-off, I suppose,’ Lyra’s father laughed. ‘I remember Lyra missed you so terribly much when you went to boarding school... didn’t you, Lyra?’

Lyra grimaced painfully and forced a laugh. ‘Yes, Hermione made her own choices.’

Hermione raised an eyebrow. That achingly familiar gesture made Lyra’s heart skip. ‘And what exactly is that supposed to mean?’

Lyra cocked her head challengingly. ‘I simply meant that you certainly thought you were capable of making life-changing decisions at age eleven, and... you did, didn’t you?’

‘Yes,’ she heard Hermione muttering. ‘Life-changing indeed.’ Then Hermione raised her voice. ‘I mean, it’s not like, according to someone, I had anyone to stay for, is it?’

Lyra felt hot anger course through her. Even after all these years, Hermione still remembered exactly what she said... and that somehow made her bite her lip to keep from an involuntary smile spreading across her face. ‘Well, maybe that someone didn’t mean it, and just wanted to tell you all you had to do was stay. And... that they would really miss you. And wish you hadn’t gone. Or something,’ Lyra finished, stammering a little.

Hermione looked at her with eyes that glinted like mysterious corners of shadowy caves, hiding everything and nothing all at once.

When she spoke, her voice cracked.

‘You would have missed me?’

(Stay tuned for Part 3 and follow me if you don’t want to miss it!)

[bbbb-barnes]

DANCE WITH THE DEVIL - A Mobster!Bucky Barnes X Reader.

Summary: You move away from your small town and start a life in NYC leaving a behind a childhood of drugs, guns and abuse, when your mother is struggling you go back home to help, only to realise the gang that your father was involved in has become ruthless, people know your name and know who you are. A handsome and dangerous man from your families rival gang catches your eye and you can't stay away.

Hi!! I have finals so I thought WHY NOT START A BUCKY FIC. As always please leave feedback and come chat to me!! I always like to start my fics with a bitta back story so no Bucky in this BUT a lotta Steve, this is gunna be a dark fic, might not seem it now but oh BOY it's gunna get dark.

WARNINGS - MENTIONS OF DRUGS, DEATH, SWEARING AND DOMESTIC ABUSE in this chapter and throughout!!

Please let me know what u think!!

Moving out of town was always your plan, from when you were 8 years old and you took a trip to New York with your family, you were enthralled with the big city life, you still remember how the city filled you with a strange sense of nostalgia even though you had never been there before, like it was always meant to be. Moving back to town was never your plan. You had studied hard and got a place at NYU school of law and after 3 crazy years filled with drunken nights with your friends, all-nighters in the library and a shit tonne of coffee and ramen you had graduated with an under grad degree and decided to stay on and complete a post grad whilst trying to score an internship to get your career moving, it was a hustle but you wouldn’t change it for the world. In New York you felt like you could do anything and become anybody, anything was a possibility and you felt as if you could accomplish it all. It was a strange feeling, but you felt connected to the city and you felt like you belonged. You had been born and raised in a town in between Chicago and Indiana. Fountain Park in Jasper county was a predominantly Italian-American populated area. It encapsulated everything an Italian American town ever would, all your aunts knew each other, there were only two high schools, if you walked down the street you would most likely see a kid you went to middle school with, people knew everybody’s business, oh and It housed two local mobster gangs with a fierce rivalry. The Commandos and The Moretti’s. They began the rivalry over the local oil business years ago, or that was the front anyway, you were aware of the drug deals that went down and the cocaine ring that both gangs claimed not to run, there was constant battles over property and territories. But the lack of police intervention subsequently led the gangs to become their own law enforcement for the town, so the people of Fountain Park picked a side essentially, and the gangs in which they picked and showed loyalty to would protect them, albeit not in the most diplomatic way, which only fuelled the rivalry. The whole thing made you laugh, it was truly pathetic, and you planned to stay as far away as possible from these ‘gangs’. You knew your Uncle Jack was part of The Moretti’s and you had been made aware of your father’s involvement when he had died 2 years previous. People spoke about how suspicious his death was and it really worsened things for the rivalry as there was foul play suspected. You didn’t care much, you had thought the world of your father until you were 9 years old and witnessed him beat the living shit out of your own mother, it wasn’t the last time you saw it either, it was only as you got older when you realised drugs had a big part to play in his behaviour, not that it was any justification. You had ached for his approval even after what you had seen, he was your father and he was important, you wanted him to be proud of you for some sick reason. Then when you were 17 and all dressed up for your junior prom he decided to pull out his gun and point it at your forehead in front of the whole family that's when you realised you had enough, you begged your mom to leave him, you know now that he would have killed her if she did. You dropped his name and took your mother’s maiden name Romano. Hearing he had died was incredibly bitter sweet, he was still your dad and he was dead, but it was completely overpowered by the fact your mom was now free from him. Mom was a Fountain Park native with Italian parents, even though her parents were Italian she was born in America and only visited Italy once.

That’s what brought you home, your Nonna was incredibly ill and your mother was struggling to care for her and working to keep herself afloat. Your mother was a proud woman and if you hadn’t had a phone call from your aunt telling you things were bad, you would have never known. You had taken some time off College, which they had surprisingly allowed given you were in-between diplomas and a high achieving student and your roommate Wanda had found somebody to rent your room for a few months, so things managed to fall into place nicely.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Indianapolis International Airport, the local time is currently 11:35am, for your comfort and safety please leave your seatbelt fastened and allow the aircraft to come to a full and complete stop before collecting your belongings and vacating the aircraft, Delta thanks you for your cooperation and we wish you a wonderful stay in Indiana” The chirpy and polished voice of the pretty air hostess snaps you out of your thought process, you gave your muscles a well needed stretch, thankful to almost be free of the stuffy and confined air of the plane. You joined the scuffle of people who were currently grabbing luggage eager to leave. You threw your bag over your shoulder and shuffled out at a snail’s pace, as the line had finally made its way to the front of the plane you thanked the air hostesses and stepped out into the late morning sun, taking a breath of fresh air your mood instantly lifting as you bounced down the stairs and over the asphalt, taking in every drop of sunshine.

If you were in a good mood, passport control and baggage reclaim really took a shit on that. The long lines in the warm and packed airport was enough to make any sane person snap, you were surrounded by people sighing and muttering at the long wait times, you decided to occupy yourself on your phone to pass the time. You sent a message to some old friends telling them you were back in town and you wanted to reconnect. As much as you loved New York, it would be nice to take things easy for a couple of weeks.

After finally getting your passport checked and proving you weren’t a terrorist you were graciously allowed into the state by an overweight and stony-faced officer. Next challenge was baggage reclaim, you were glad you had always taken your mothers advice of making your suitcase noticeable as you spotted the bright yellow case almost instantly and rushed over to wrestle it off. However, the weight of the luggage, your tired body and the speed of the carousel made your first attempt unsuccessful, why in fresh hell did it go around so fast? You were suitably irritated at this point.

“Motherfucker” you muttered and pushed the sleeves of your thin sweatshirt up, psyching yourself up for round two. You saw your case come around again and rolled your shoulders in preparation, however before you could even attempt to grab it a large, blonde man who seemingly came out of nowhere lifted your bag off the carousel as if it were light as a feather, your eyebrows shot up in confusion and you started to panic slightly as he started walking away with it, his broad back quickly disappearing into the crowd, this is the last thing you needed today.

“Hey! excuse me” you yelled in a pathetic attempt to get his attention, you started to jog towards him, weaving through various people who shot you scowls as you pushed passed, your panic was turning to frustration.

“Excuse ME” you yelled even louder, seemingly catching the attention of everybody else but the mystery bag thief, you ran a little faster to catch up, why in the world was this man walking so fast, with a final push you reached him and grabbed his arm in an attempt to stop him but also steady yourself from the sudden exercise. He whipped around in an instant, looking ready to attack almost, when he saw you his face relaxed, this is not the reaction you wanted.

“Excuse me asshole, but you just stole my suitcase” you huffed, trying your hardest to look intimidating, but this guy was huge, and was he smiling at you after stealing your luggage? What the fuck, you deepened your scowl. He started laughing at you, you jaw went a little slack at this guy’s blatant disregard to the fact he had just stolen from you and was now laughing about it.

“I’m not sure why this is fucking fu...” you started, your voice an octave higher than before as you seriously resisted the urge to stomp your foot like a child, before you could continue he rudely interrupted you.

“Y/N its me, Steve” It was the first time you heard him talk, it was deep but soft at the same time it was oddly comforting and filled with humour as he smirked down at you, you pulled your eyebrows together in confusion. If you knew this man you would have remembered he was seriously handsome.

“Steve Rodgers” He prompted, his head cocked to the side, the faint trace of humour still apparent in his voice. You did a comical double take at his reminder, no way was this jacked guy Steve Rodgers, skinny and sickly Steve Rodgers, your next-door neighbour and a good friend to you through those tough high school years, he taught you how to play poker and you used to give him your CD’s in return (after you had finished listening of course) you were the reason he had such a soft spot for NSYNC. The two of you used to sit on the grass in his backyard when your dad was beating your mom and he would distract you by talking you step by step through the rules of baseball and giving you an extensive run down of his favourite players, it used to work and was the reason you became a baseball fan. You were clearly in a state of shock as he playfully shook your shoulders with a chuckle. You looked up and studied his face and you saw it, the same light blue eyes, the same nose that was slightly crooked from when he broke it falling out of a tree, the same very faint dusting of freckles dancing across the bridge of his nose.

“Steven, when the hell did you get so jacked?” you managed to choke out taking a step back to take him in, he barked out a loud laugh startling a few children nearby in the process.

“Oh, stop it you” He joked, pretending to be shy which made you chuckle in response, you were still wildly confused but if your childhood had taught you anything it was that Steve Rodgers never steered you far wrong. He threw a heavy arm around your shoulders and guided you to the parking lot.

“I am your personal taxi service, Miss New York big shot” he joked as he pulled your suitcase behind him effortlessly, you were slightly dazed, but you had assumed your mother asked him to collect you and presumably told him about the bright yellow suitcase too (although the luggage tag with your name on could have done that too)

“I need you to tell me everything” He continued babbling as he led you to a sleek, shiny black BMW with blacked out windows, he retracted his arm from your shoulder to fish his keys from his jeans pocket. You took a moment to appreciate the car.

“This is yours?” you sounded doubtful as you raised your eyebrows at the expensive looking car, last you heard Steve wanted to be an artist, you weren’t sure how fruitful that career was, but you assumed not this much. He unlocked the car and gestured for you to get in with a small smile.

“You’re not the only successful one from around here y’know” he joked, his voice coming from behind you as he placed your suitcase in the trunk, you climbed in the front seat and fidgeted around, taking in the leather interior. He slid in the driver’s seat and started the car, zooming out of the parking lot with his eyes focused ahead of him.

“So, you’re a famous artist now or something?” you matched the joking tone, but you were very curious, his family didn’t have a lot of money. You noted his expression darken for a slight moment as he chewed his lip, considering his answer.

“I’m not Fountain Park’s answer for Picasso if that’s what you mean” his dark expression had disappeared and his light, joking manner was back, you opened your mouth to ask another question, but he quickly cut you off.

“Hey, before you interrogate me anymore can I ask about New York please, big shot?” He gave you a quick pleading glance and a toothy smile, you obliged and started to talk about your life in another state, but you weren’t going to let this drop and you were sure he knew that too.

You humoured him and spoke animatedly about college and your friends and he listened intently, smiling as he watched you talk so passionately.

“You’d love New York Steve, you really would” you mused, you had relaxed into the seat now and watched his side profile as he reacted to your words, you could always imagine Steve loving New York.

“I really think I would, couldn’t get on board with the Mets or Yankees though” he made a face and you laughed, it was nice to see he was still passionate about his baseball.

“Hey, we should make the trip to see a Cubs game while I’m back” You suggested excitedly, his face darkened slightly again, and you saw as he clenched his jaw for a millisecond, but you caught it. He plastered on a fake smile.

“That would be fun Y/N” he agreed, but you knew it was fake so you decided to push.

“Well, you’re like the biggest Cubs fan I know, you must know when the next game is?” you continued as you pulled out your phone, his knuckles whitened as he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.

“Oh God, Y/N I haven’t been to a Baseball game in years I couldn’t tell you” He chuckled but he was lying, you could tell as the laughter didn’t quite meet his eyes, you scowled slightly and typed furiously on your phone for a few seconds.

“Hey, would you look at that, there’s a game next weekend” your voice was sugary sweet and full of fake excitement, he sighed slightly as he rolled his neck.

“Y/N, I can’t next weekend” he answered weakly, you both knew it was a lie and it seemed he had stopped trying to hide it, you crossed your arms over your chest and huffed.

“Are you going to tell me what’s actually going on?” you snapped slightly, and he sighed, he used his free hand to massage his temple, he took a few moments before answering.

“There’s a lot going on that you won’t understand, I don’t want to put you in harm’s way so that’s why I say this but we can’t be seen together, Y/N” His voice was stern but his tone was slightly sympathetic, his words didn’t clear anything up for you however, just confused you further.

“What on earth are you talking about?” you questioned, narrowing your eyes at the tense man, who didn’t take his eyes off the road, with both hands now back on the wheel, his face was disturbingly stoic.

“Y/N, I’m part of The Commando’s” his voice was steady and quiet, he didn’t look at you for a reaction, keeping his eyes fixed on the long highway in front of him, you processed his words and flopped back against the leather seats.

“Is that it Steve? Don’t you think you’re being a bit melodramatic” you breathed out a laugh as relief washed over you, he was just part of that silly gang, besides your fathers were in opposing ‘gangs’ and you two were friends growing up, so why would it be different now. This time he did take his eyes off the road to look at you, his eyes were wide, and his nostrils flared.

“Y/N you haven’t been here you don’t know what its like” He snipped, rolling his shoulders as he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

“It’s just a silly gang Steve” you mumbled pulling your phone out to occupy yourself for the rest of the journey home.

“It isn’t a silly gang, Y/N. People are being killed, there’s millions of dollars at risk, there’s an influx of arms and drugs making its way around the town, it’s bad Y/N. I’m not sure if you remember but your family were no, they are Moretti’s. We’re seen together and that means serious harm for the both of us” He snapped suddenly, his raised voice made you jump and you considered the fact he might be right.

“What, so you deal drugs now?” you asked in disbelief, the blacked-out BMW making more sense now, he was tensed up.

“There’s certain parts of The Commando’s I don’t agree with but they protect me, protect my family from being shot in the street by your god damn uncle Jack” he was speeding down the highway at this point and you briefly realised you must have been going above 100MPH, his voice was hostile and you felt hurt he decided to blame you for the actions of your family.

“I have nothing to do with that gang or my uncle and if I remember rightly didn’t one of you kill my father” you accused coolly, it was a weak accusation and you both knew it because in all honesty if you met the man that killed him you’d probably shake his hand.

“I know, Y/N I’m sorry it’s just that Jack, he’s running The Moretti’s and its ruthless out there, he’ll stop at nothing to take us down and everything is fair game which is why I want you to stay away from me, if they find out we’re friends I don’t want to begin to imagine what they’ll do.” His voice had softened slightly as he shot you a sad smile.

“My uncle wouldn’t hurt me” you protested weakly, although you didn’t know at this point, and judging by the look on Steve’s face he didn’t either.

“I didn’t mean just your Uncle Jack; all the Commando’s know who you’re related to” he spoke his words very carefully however they still made you panic as you realised the seriousness of this situation.

“Are they going to hurt me?” you chewed down on your lip as you tried to scoff at the question, making it seem like you were unbothered by it but you both knew that wasn’t the case.

“If you don’t provoke anybody then they’ll leave you alone…I’ll look after you as much as I can Y/N. I won’t let The Commando’s hurt you” Steve didn’t know if he could follow through with that promise, but he intended to try his hardest to keep it. You relaxed slightly, Steve made you feel safe and you believed him.

You looked out the window to process the information that had been given to you, you still had so many questions, but you didn’t think you even wanted to know the answer to them. You felt saudade as you drove past all the familiar landmarks of your childhood, in this context nothing had changed, but you had a feeling everything was different now.

Steve pulled to a stop outside your house, it was a large house in a nice neighbourhood, you realised now how your dad got the money for it, luckily the mortgage was paid off before he died because he didn’t leave your mom a penny when he croaked. Steve turned the engine off and you sat in silence for a few seconds.

“My mom isn’t in danger, is she?” your quiet voice broke the silence of the car, Steve squinted at your house, the afternoon sun high in the sky.

“No, I’m not going to say every member of The Commando’s is her biggest fan but they realise what she went through with your dad, they keep their distance” he confirmed and you let out a breath, you could take care of yourself but you didn’t want any gangs giving your mother abuse because of things your asshole father did. Steve looked a little an edge and you realised that he had a target on his back just being here with you.

“Thanks for the ride Steve, I guess ill see you around?” you questioned but you didn’t know what your situation would be after this, it made you feel a pang of sadness. He looked over his shoulder quickly before embracing you in a brief hug, he slipped a piece of paper into your hands.

“Try and stay out of trouble Y/N” he joked with you but you knew there was a hint of seriousness in his words, he mimicked your sad smile as you clambered out of the car and pulled your suitcase from his trunk, you slammed it shut and caught his blue eyes in the rear-view mirror for the last time before he pulled away and sped down the street.

You unravelled the note he had shoved into your hands, on it was a number scrawled in messy writing, emergencies only the wording read, you put it safely in your pocket.

You turned to face your house, so much had happened here it had shaped you into the person you are so why did you want to turn around and run as far away as possible. You resisted the urge and pulled yourself and your suitcase to the oak front door taking a deep breath before entering, the reality of the situation setting in.

Stay out of trouble, how hard could that be?

[hymn2000]

Hope I’ve Got Something To Lose - MCU AU fanfic - C7

Story overview: Peter has an accident, and Tony makes a drastic decision. In the midst of everything, a face from the past reappears - but Peter isn’t too sure about reconnecting after everything that’s happened.

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Part of my irondad and spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: injury, hospital stuff, hurt/comfort, mental health stuff, family stuff

Disclaimer: I have no idea how to write suspense/do mood setting so you’ll have to use your imaginations I’m sorry

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 7 - Hitting The Ditches

-

“What are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“I know what you’re doing” Peter said. “But why?”

“Because you looked like you needed one”

Peter merely rested his cheek against her shoulder. She made him feel so small. He could smell her sweet perfume and feel the warmth of her arms round him. Slowly, he returned the hug.

“I never wanted to upset you” Liz said. “I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I’m glad you’re ok again now”

“Sorry for rambling at you like that”

“Don’t be”

She let go of him slowly, and moved back. They looked at each other.

“You look good” Liz said. “Navy suits you. And I like your shoes”

“Oh. Thanks” Peter said, looking down at his feet. “They always remind me of the main character from Flushed Away”

Liz looked at him blankly.

“You know. The film? The one about the rats?”

Liz shook her head. “I haven’t seen it”

“Never mind then..”

“I’ll put it on my list of stuff to watch”

“Yeah...”

Peter looked away, and saw the pool. He started over to it, and Liz followed him, sitting down cross-legged at the side when they reached it.

“Did you see the host? He doesn’t strike me as a swimmer” Peter said, touching the surface of the water with his fingertips. “What a waste”

“He looks like one of those men who spends most days sat in an armchair smoking a pipe, doesn’t he?” Liz said. “...You said you’re on the swim team at your school”

Peter nodded. “I didn’t really want to join, but they wrote to my parents asking me, and dad was pretty stern about it. I was still gonna say no, but I ended up joining anyway”

“Is it fun?”

“Well, the before and after bits of training can be fun, and sometimes when we’re competing we all go on a mini-bus together, and that can be fun too”

“Don’t you like it?”

“Not really. It’s just so repetitive. I’ve always kinda liked swimming, but there’s such a big difference between messing-about-in-a-pool swimming and competitive swimming. There’s nothing fun about swimming up and down, up and down, and relays are even worse. And medley relays are the worst thing ever”

“I’ve never really done swimming that wasn’t messing about. if you don’t like it, why don’t you quit?”

Peter looked down at the water. “I’ve been meaning to for a while now, but it’s not that easy. The coach likes me cos I win a lot, and dad’ll get real upset with me if I quit”

“It’s not his life, Peter”

“I know that. But I don’t wanna upset him, and I don’t know if I could deal with one of those; ‘you’re giving up something you’re really good at’ talks where they start saying you’re throwing your life away or whatever. He keeps trying to get me to apply for some national competitions and stuff like that. And he’s always getting at me to practice”

“Have you got a pool at home then?”

Peter nodded. “I used to love it, but I don’t anymore. I can’t just go and mess about, cos dad’ll start asking how my practice is going and then try and act coach and it does my head in, so I don’t go down there much anymore. But then he gets angry at that too. But not so much recently. Because of my ribs...”

“What happened to you?”

“It doesn’t matter”

“You lied to me”

Peter looked up at her. “What do you mean?”

“You said your life was better now, but you sound miserable”

“I-I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick. I’m not enjoying the swim team stuff, but that’s not really a big thing right now, anyway”

“It’s not just because of the swimming”

“I’m fine. I just didn’t really want to come tonight. I hate these kinda parties. It’s the worst part about having celebrities as parents. Especially when they’re as famous as dad”

“Can I ask you something about that? How do you differentiate between them when they’re both... dads?”

“Oh? Oh! Oh. Well, I just call them both dad, mostly, especially when we’re at home. But I call Loki ‘daddy Loki’ sometimes” Peter said, and suddenly felt a bit stupid. “I don’t really think about it, to be honest. But Loki is daddy more often than Mr Stark is”

“Do you like it?”

“What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do. We get on really well. We’re friends. We were friends before, basically family. We still are”

Liz opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, there was a shout.

“Little Brother!”

Peter looked round, and his face lit up when he saw Alison. She had a friend with her. Alison ran over, knelt down, and hugged Peter tight.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here, Little Brother!” she grinned, squeezing him and kissing his cheek. “How are you doing? I heard you had a bit of an accident and ended up in hospital”

Peter just hugged her back.

“Oh, Peter, this is Evangeline. Our parents have been friends for years”

“Most people call me Gilly” Evangeline said, smiling at him.

“Sorry” Liz said. “But, Little Brother?”

“Ah, it’s just a school thing” Alison said. “So, you know Peter, and I’ve introduced Evangeline. I’m Ali. And you’re..?”

“Liz” Liz said. “We used to go to school together. A long time ago”

“Oh cool. Nice to meet you” Ali smiled.

“Nice to meet you. So, this Little Brother thing?”

Oh” Ali gave Peter a squeeze. “Well, Peter started in the middle of the term. We’ve got a scheme at St Hendricks where they give one of us older ones the role of taking care of the kids like Peter, showing them around and checking up on them and all that kind of thing. So I’m his Big Sister, and he’s my Little Brother. He’s such a sweetie, isn’t he?”

Liz smiled and nodded. 

“So, Little Bro, this place seems a bit of a mystery, don’t you think? Old guy in the middle of nowhere, Victorian looking, living in what basically looks like a Victorian mansion, and the party is only in about three rooms, right at the front. There’s a huge building here to explore”

“I heard that this place is haunted” Gilly said. “I heard, that the ghost of an old woman wanders the corridors but never goes downstairs. And apparently all of the paintings on the wall change every time you look at them”

“Oh, you can’t really believe that” Ali said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

“Well, there’s definitely something funny about this place” Liz said. 

Peter looked at Ali. Ali searched his face, and nodded.

“Ok, let’s do it” she said, standing up. 

The other three stood up as well.

“What are we doing?” Gilly asked. 

“We’re going to explore, of course!” Ali said. “We’ve just got to slip through that door at the back. It’ll be fine”

Peter looked at Liz. She seemed a little unsure. He took a breath, and held a hand out to her. She took it.

-

Undetected, the four managed to slip through the heavy white doors at the end of the entrance hall. The atmosphere was immediately different once the door was closed behind them. They could still dimly hear the party sounds, but they sounded much further away than they really were. Where they were now was dark, and everything felt a little wobbly and strange. Where they stood in the huge hallway, they were faced with an enormous staircase. It led up to a platform by a large window, and the banisters continued round on either side, up several more steps to another landing stage and staircase. The moonlight was the main source of light, and it bathed everything in a milky, ethereal light.

“It looks like something from Beauty And The Beast” Gilly said.

“Oooh, does that mean we’ll find a magic rose if we find our way to one of the turrets?” Ali said. “Come on, then”

They started up the staircase. It creaked ominously, and they all froze and quickly checked behind them.

“No one’s going to hear: it’s too loud in there” Liz said quietly.

“Then why are you whispering?” Ali said, but she grinned. “Maybe we should try to stay quiet anyway”

They stopped at the top of the staircase, backs to the window, looking left and right.

“Which way should we go?” Gilly asked.

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” Liz said.

“We’re not doing any harm” Ali said. She pointed to the staircase to her right. “Let’s go up this one”

So they did. As they set foot on the top step, a loud clunk sounded, and a clock sounding the half hour echoed round the hallway, making them all jump.

“This is scarier than I thought it was going to be” Liz whispered, slowly letting go of Peter’s arm. “Are you ok?”

Peter nodded and gave her the thumbs-up sign. They went over to the grandfather clock which had caused the alarm. It was big, and terribly old, with faded plates in the clock face. It seemed to tick almost excessively loudly.

“It sounds like it’s coming from behind us as well” Ali said, shuddering. “I bet there’s a whole load more of them in this place”

“I’ll bet!” Gilly nodded. “I bet we’ll stumble across some kind of disused nursery full of creepy old Victorian toys at some point”

“Oh, don’t start telling stories, please” Liz begged. “This place is creepy enough without thinking about that kind of thing. I think you’ve already scared Peter: he’s gone so quiet”

Ali giggled at the look on Gilly’s face. “Don’t look so worried! Peter doesn’t ever speak: it’s nothing to do with you”

Liz looked at Ali, and then back at Peter for clarification. Peter merely shrugged. He looked around them. There was only one door they could go through. He went over and tried the handle. It turned easily, but squeaked horribly as he eased the door open. The other three joined behind him, peering into the dark corridor behind the door. There were no windows, so it was pitch black. Gilly shuddered.

“This place is giving me the creeps” she said.

“It’s only because it’s dark” Ali said, taking her phone out and turning the torch on. “There. We can see where we’re going now. Go on, Little Brother”

Peter stepped into the corridor, and the others followed. The door clicked shut behind them. 

“Umm...”

“It’s fine” Ali said. “It wasn’t locked. Come on! I bet there’s a whole load of stuff to discover here” 

Her phone torch wasn’t bright enough to illuminate the whole corridor. She moved it around, so they could see the carpet, the bottom part of the wall, and the paintings higher up. 

“This is so weird”

“It’s like being in a time warp” Liz said. “There’s not even any plug sockets or light switches”

“I told you this place was haunted” Gilly hissed. 

“Of course it’s not haunted” Ali rolled her eyes. “It’s just an old house. There’s no such thing as-”

Liz suddenly squeaked and grabbed at Peter.

“Something moved..!”

They all looked at her, and Ali lifted her phone, shining the torch across the hallway. They saw nothing. Ali held her phone still - and a huge shadow ran across the beam of light. Liz and Ali gave a little shriek.

“What was that?!”

They looked at each other. It didn’t make any sense. There wasn’t any windows - so how could anything make a shadow like that? Ali spotted the door at the other end of the corridor.

“Come on, quick!”

They ran, and Ali grabbed the door handle. It wouldn’t open.

“It’s locked!” she looked up, and tried the door on the left. “Oh, thank god”

They slammed the door behind them once they were free of the hallway. They all shivered. This was different, all great stone bricks, and it was cold. They found they were stood at the bottom of a spiralling stone staircase. 

“I don’t know about this” Liz said, holding tight to Peter’s arm. 

“There’s no going back now” Ali said determinedly. 

She took hold of the rope serving as a hand rail, and bravely started her ascent. The others had no choice but to follow.

-

The room the four teens found themselves in was well enough lit by the moon for Ali to turn off her phone torch. They stood looking at the strange round room. It was uncarpeted, with a stone floor. 

“What is this place?” Gilly said, looking at the wooden boxes scattered about. “Some kind of storage room?”

Peter knelt down and tried to prize the lid off one of the boxes, but it was nailed shut.

“There’s another staircase here”

Liz had opened a door on the other side of the room, discovering another spiralling staircase. The other three came over.

“Well, it’s gotta be better than staying up here” Ali said, taking the lead and starting downwards. 

Gilly went next. Liz stopped, looking at Peter.

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

Peter nodded, and gestured for her to go before him.

-

Ali stopped at a window. Through it, she could see across and down to one of the rooms where the party was happening. It was so bright in comparison to everything else that it looked almost orange. 

“Wait, this doesn’t make any sense. Guys, look”

They did. 

“We went up stairs on the same side of the building as the party rooms. How can we be looking at it from the other side?”

No one had an answer, so they didn’t say anything. Ali watched for a moment longer, and then turned her attention back to the dark room she was in. 

“Ok, so what we know-”

They heard a door opening a few rooms away, and footsteps approaching.

“Hide!”

They thanked their lucky stars that they were in a well furnished room. Peter grabbed Liz and ducked down behind the grand piano, while Ali hid under the coffee table, and Gilly behind the heavy curtains. She only just made it before the door opened. They all stayed as still as possible, their hands over their mouths to stop themselves being heard. Peter couldn’t see anything from behind the piano, but he could hear the footsteps. He closed his eyes and started counting in his head. 

It wasn’t long before the door closed again. They waited a while longer, until they were certain the coast was clear, and then emerged from their hiding places.

“Do you think people have noticed we’re gone?” Liz whispered.

Ali slipped her hand into Peter’s pocket, checking his phone.

“No, we’re clear: Peter’s dads would’ve texted if they’d realised” She said.

Peter put his phone back, and looked towards the other door, not the one The Person had entered through. The girls looked too.

“May as well continue on” Gilly said. “We’ve got nothing to lose”

-

Gilly looked at everyone with a kind of anxious pride when they pushed the door open. 

“I told you we’d find something like this!”

The air felt heavy, and Peter rather felt like he was being watched. He tried hard to ignore it. This room was definitely a nursery, and a big one at that. There was a huge rocking horse by the fire place, with horrible staring glazed over glass eyes and half-open mouth with bared teeth. Peter touched its mane cautiously. 

“I bet that’s real hair” Ali said, touching its tail with similar caution. “That’s what they used to do, use real horse hair”

“It’s spooky” Gilly said. “Why is everything in here old? How old is the host?”

“God knows”

“I don’t like this” Liz whispered. “Isn’t that shelf creeping you out?”

There was a shelf absolutely full of old china dolls, clad in Victorian style dresses, their tiny china hands reaching out towards them. They all looked, their hearts thumping. There was a huge doll sat in a chair by the shelf, and as they looked at her, her arm dropped to her side. Liz squeaked and grabbed Peter.

“Did you see that?!” she gasped. “We need to get out of here!”

“It’s just an old doll: it’s nothing” Ali said, trying to convince herself as well as the others. 

They all became aware of the ticking of a clock, just as loud as the grandfather clock that had scared them earlier. Peter squeezed Liz’s hand tight, looking round the room. He could hear his pulse thumping in his ears. He looked at the dolls, at the rocking horse, the huge dolls house, the shelf full of toys that looked as old as the war. There was a little dresser over by the door. Peter took a deep breath and went over to it. Liz kept hold of his hand and went too, dreading seeing something other than herself reflected in the mirror. They looked at the little mirror, at the old style hand mirror and matching brush, and the big music box. It was pretty, glass, with a little ballerina on top. Peter went to touch it, and as he did, the ballerina started turning, and with it, music started playing. Peter could only stare, his eyes wide.

“Peter, we need to leave!” Liz hissed, her voice shaking. 

She turned round, making Peter follow. The four of them looked at each other.

“Liz is right: there’s something wrong here” Gilly nodded. “Let’s go”

They all nodded - and then froze. There was a loud creaking sound. They looked at each other and then looked towards the window where the sound appeared to be coming from. There they noticed a rocking chair, creaking on its rockers - and a woman shrouded in white sat in it.

*

[minyoonsh]

aqua; part 1

your life in the city couldn’t be compared to how the breeze on the beach felt as it ran through your hair. how the sand felt between your toes. and last but not least how your heart fluttered at the sight of jimin, park jimin.

soulmate au! | jimin x reader

“dinner!” your mom shouted from downstairs as you were watching a funny clip of some vine compilations on youtube. today was the first day of your summer vacation, and you had spent it staying inside surfing on the internet. you wondered how you ended up there, but thinking about it, it made sense. your friends were all away on their luxurious vacations to bora bora and wherever. the only one that was actually home was jackson wang, but you were too shy to call him. you had always thought you had some kind of crush on him, you had known him since forever. but he never made a move on you so you just thought he wasn’t interested.

“kay, im coming!” you answered as you stood up and stretched a bit, and you heard you bones crack in a satisfying way before heading downstairs.

“what’s for dinner?” you asked while helping your mom put plates on the table. “didn’t you smell it from upstairs?” she asked back, you just shook your head and she tilted her head before speaking again. “were you watching those weird vine compilations again? i swear you’re so weird” she said, smiling to herself as she put food on your plate before her own. “c’mon mom, i know you watch them aswell. don’t try to fool me. i see everything” you said, chuckling shortly after. “isn’t that my line?” she laughed, narrowing her eyes at you. “sure”

you and your mom had the best time together, always laughing and smiling. your dad was working a lot, even though when he came home he was pretty tired. but always managed to have a smile on his face, forced or not.

“oh, you remember hoseok, right honey?” she suddenly spoke. and you tried to remember the name hoseok. it suddenly plinged in your head, you smiled widely. hoseok was the boy you had met on vacation very many years ago. ever since he had met you. he had been helping your grandma with stuff around the house. and that was because when you were there, you stayed at her house. but for the last couple of years you had other traveling plans, so you didn’t have the time or you wanted to enjoy the vacation at home. “of course i do, he’s my childhood broski, my dude, my guy.” you said as you recalled, you had met during your ‘i hate boys’ period. but you made an exception, for him.

you mom rolled her eyes before speaking. “anyway, i thought since you really don’t have shit to do around here except watching vine compilations. you could go stay with your grandma for the rest of the summer”

you had thought about it, going down there and help her. reconnect with each other, and you could hangout with hoseok and his friends. his number was saved in your phone and he texted you sometimes and you texted him sometimes. just to catch up. but that wasn’t that often. “yeah, but i need money to do that shit. i need a train ticket” you told your mom. it wasn’t that your family was struggling, it wasn’t like that at all. it was just that ever since you turned eighteen, apparently you needed to pay for everything yourself because ‘it’s training, for the future honey’ your mom had said repeatedly if you asked her about it.

“now here is the best part. your grandma, who hoseok is close to. told me that one of hoseok‘s co-workers has just quit. that means that they are hiring. so i’ll pay for your ticket down there. and then, you can pay me back with the money you make there” she said, clapping like a seal. you looked at her, contemplating whether or not you wanted to. of course you wanted to visit hoseok and your grandma. but working the whole summer to pay your mom back. but on the other side again. you did want to meet your grandma again.

“okay, can you send me the link to their website?” you asked, putting your dishes in the sink.

“okay! i’ll go tell your grandma!”

“have you texted him yet?” your mom asked as you stood outside of the train station, saying goodbye to your mom. a suitcase in your hand, and a bag over your shoulder. “yeah, he’s gonna be there when the train stops” you answered, smiling at your mom. this was probably the longest your have ever been away from her. you were gonna miss her, but you had your grandma. “i’ll miss you darling, meet some new people, have fun okay?” she said and pulled you into a tight hug. “i’ll try, now don’t stay up too late watching those vine compilations. is not good for you” you said jokingly, and she kept smiling but rolled her eyes. “and maybe you will meet jisoo again? that would be nice!” she said, but your smile immediately dropped, but you tried to hide hoe uncomfortable you suddenly became at the mention of her name.

“sure mom- oh! i need to go now! or else my train will go without me. mom i love you! bye!” you said, half running half walking. she smiled and waved at you. and you took that as a sign to turn around and focus on where you were going.

your mom had bought the tickets online, so you could just show them ona app on your phone. “technology, am i rite?” you said to yourself quietly. hoping that no one heard you. “geez, i need to stop talking to myself”

you walked down to where the trains arrived and your train hat arrived when you came. good luck huh? you got on the train and sat down in the quiet zone and put in your headphones listening to monsta x, wondering if kihyun would ever notice you. you were for sure going to one of their concerts. that you had your mind set on. lightly nodding your head and bumping your foot against the floor, it didn’t take long time until you fell asleep. you didn’t really do much today except from packing. but you still managed to be exhausted, you guessed most mentally. it was a week since you applied to the job and got it the next day. hoseok our in a good word for you, you were thankful.

soon enough the train had arrived and you had just woken up from a nap dreaming about all kinds of crazy stuff. the beach, a pair of eyes, they were a male’s eyes, a shock kinda thing going through your body. but you assumed it was just another dream.

you stepped off of the train, you legs felt a bit wobbly as you walked to one of the benches. people probably assumed you had great sex last night. which you indeed didn’t.

as you walked out of the train station you looked around for a red, worn down car, with a weird guy called hoseok sitting inside of it. after 10 minutes of waiting you texted him.

yo, where you at bro? 2:35

right behind u bro🐑 2:36

you turned around and saw the goofy hoseok standing there with his phone in his hand. he looked so grown up. it had been a long time since you saw him. last time you facetimed was probably around 3 years ago. from the way his lips smirked at you, you knew he wasn’t the same hoseok who blushed every time you held his hand.

“broski!” you yelled, running towards him and wrapping your arms around him.

“hey y/n” he said as he wrapped his arms around you aswell. “you smell good.” you said as you let go of him a little and he took the hint to let your out of his warm embrace. “thanks, its actually my friend’s” he said, smiling. you tilted your head at him. “hmm, i’d like to meet this ‘friend’, he must smell good” you said, it was your turn to smirk. he took your bags, “sure, co-worker,” he said. “let’s go.”